Psycho
by holymfwickee
Summary: Book III of the Damn Imprinting Series. Nessie’s friends get into a bit of legal trouble; meanwhile, she and Jacob are dealing with their own conflicts as they reach the adult stages of their relationship. New characters.
1. Cause My Bed's On Fire

This is the sequel to _Sasha_ & _Revolution_ and third story of a four part series entitled, _Damn Imprinting_. As I have said before, I highly recommend reading the previous two stories beforehand or this story won't make any sense, well some, but not much.

This story received an update (as of June '09). The plot did not change, but there were a few more details added here and there.

This story picks up two and a half years after the Epilogue of _Revolution_. Once again the narration does change from time to time and I will mention at the beginning of the chapter if the narration is anyone other than Nessie. Please feel free to leave comments.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight_

Disclaimer: I do not own _Psycho Killer_, by Talking Heads

**Psycho **

**Chapter I: Cause My Bed's On Fire**

Sex…we were talking about sex. At least, we were trying to.

Jacob and I were sitting against the headboard of my bed in my parent's cottage on the Cullen estate. My arms were wrapped around my knees while Jacob kept nervously tapping his fingers on his lap. We deliberately avoided looking each other in the eye; not dissimilarly to a couple of fourteen-year-olds on their first date.

And what had possessed us to embark on such an awkward journey? Well, it was all a timing thing. It was one of those very few moments we had the whole house to ourselves. Billy was always at Jacob's house and if he wasn't than one of the wolves was and at least one of my relatives was usually hanging around the Cullen estate. Yet by some miraculous intervention the entire family was absent from the house. My parents were spending a few hours with Charlie and Sue. Carlisle and Esme were both at the hospital for some kind of benefit celebrating a huge anonymous donation (one guess where that came from). And my aunts and uncles decided to take a slightly longer hunting trip together in the mountains. Jacob and I had some precious and hard to come by hours of absolute privacy…and I had never wanted my parents to come home and invade my privacy more than this very moment.

It wasn't because of Jake, not him as a person. We had been best friends my entire life and we had become an official romantic "couple" for a little over two years and I knew very well two years is a long time to go without ever crossing the line into…_that_. Oh, dear god, how very aware I was. It wasn't as easy for us as it would be for normal humans, or normal vampires, or anything that wasn't me…I think. Like I said, we hadn't properly talked about this. Now the time had come and despite our resolve we weren't getting very far. All we had said so far was we loved each other and should therefore be able to talk about this. What a backwards concept.

Currently, Jacob was awkwardly stammering, "Nessie, can I ask you…uh…did you ever…with Sasha?"

"Jacob Black!" I immediately responded; my privacy suddenly feeling violated in a way I did not prefer. As if I ever really had any privacy within my household.

"What? It's a valid question," he inferred defensively.

I didn't think it was. I mean, how could he think I would have had sex with my prior boyfriend of two months when I hadn't yet had sex with my boyfriend of over two years? Men are ridiculous.

"Then let me ask you, did you ever…" I imitated his not-so-eloquent phrasing. "…With my mother?" Jacob took a calculated slow pause and tapped his fingers more deliberately against his knee.

"You are sick and depraved Renesmee Cullen," he said with a monotone inflection. He gave me a cold yet unserious look and I grinned at my victory. "If we're going to be adults Ness, then we should be able to talk about this."

"I don't really feel like an adult," I said, gripping my legs a little tighter. If you wanted to be explicitly technical I was not an adult. I would be turning ten very soon though nothing about me matched that age. I looked like girl who was approaching her 21st birthday and my mind was as knowledgeable as someone twice or even three times that age. But no amount of book knowledge can prepare you for this kind of thing. Jacob on the other hand matched his face and body perfectly. He would be turning 26 and his strong jaw line and toned muscles actually all made sense; if you ignored the fact he had looked this way for the last ten years.

"Maybe we should talk to Carlisle or Esme. They'd be less freaked out then your parents."

"My parents will just tell us we should wait till we get married," I muttered.

"Yeah and why aren't we married again?"

"Jacob…" I moaned in response and leaned my forehead to my knees. I knew he was going to say that. This was a topic we fought about more than anything else lately. He was almost 26 after all – an age at which most humans look to settle down.

"I'm serious. If you recall, I did ask you once."

"And that went so well." God, what a nightmare that was. How could he think about it so fondly?

"You're just too stubborn," he accused.

I lifted my head up and met his stare. Luckily, it wasn't one of hurt, although it might be after what I said next.

"Jake, I'm not saying this to be mean but if we were married what would change?"

"Well…" he began.

I knew to interrupt his initial chain of thought. "Besides the sex thing."

"Its kind-of an important thing."

"Jake…please?" I begged. If he wanted me to be adult about sex then he would have to be adult about marriage.

"Okay, well…" Jacob took another slow pause. I knew he had never really thought what married life would be like beyond the honeymoon stage. In fact, all he probably saw was a perpetual honeymoon stage. "I'm not sure."

"I'll tell you what would change. Nothing. We'd still live here. We'd still do the same things we do on a daily basis. We don't have jobs, we can't live wherever we want, and we don't have friends who would judge us one way or the other. What's the point?" It was the truth. I wasn't as intrinsically romantic as my parents and neither was Jacob when you got right down to it. I did love him and I did not wish to be separated from him; however, marriage simply did not seem like a significant milestone to me. Yes, my parents had a wedding, but that was while she was human, and none of my aunts or uncles felt they needed an official wedding to prove their commitment. I felt that way about Jacob and me.

"I get what you're saying. Let me ask you one other thing, is the reason we're waiting on sex because we're not married?"

I appreciated the way he phrased the question, saying "we're" instead of "you're". Truthfully, I should take responsibility for our abstinence. Jacob had never severely pressured me and he was always a gentleman, but remember, he was 26 and human. It's a long time to wait.

"No," I said plainly because it was the truth as well. I didn't give much significance to marriage; therefore it wasn't the reasoning behind my prolonging of the waiting.

"Okay…" Jacob said calmly. I saw his eyes dart back and forth and I knew he was contemplating those other problems we had not yet discussed. "So, this is more about the…physical consequences?" He couldn't help his cheeks from flushing a little either.

"Yeah…" I said not-so-articulately. My neck and face were beginning to feel a little hotter than normal.

"What about the pill?" Jacob's bluntness made my face turn red.

"You know human medications don't really work with my system." And thank God for that because I could never ask my father for permission to go on the pill. Even imagining the scenario was mortifying. I mean he went 100 years without…I didn't want to finish that thought. On the other hand, were I to ask for the pill, Jacob would be far less likely to live through it than I would.

"What about birth control from my end of it?" My face became even redder. Middle school and high school health classes are supposed to desensitize you to stuff like this. I'd never felt more sheltered and naïve than right now.

"Could it be as simple as that?"

"We have to talk to Carlisle." One of Jacob's nervous hands tensely ran through his hair.

"No. He'll tell my parents, or worse, he'll make me tell them," I whined.

"You're right. You are _not _adult when we talk about this," Jacob half-teased. I think he may have been more bothered by the situation than he was letting on. I couldn't be sure if he was okay with the waiting simply because of the imprint. Even if that were true did it have an effect on his body? I was too bashful to ask.

"I just don't know what's going to happen. Doesn't it freak you out?"

"Sometimes…but listen Ness, and I don't want this to sound wrong or make you uncomfortable or anything like that, but I love you and I _want_ you." So, it seemed the imprint did not impede his will or his body. He respected my desire to wait because he loved me. It may have been more normal and more human, but it also made things more complicated.

"I know…" I sighed. I couldn't bring myself to verbally admit to the same as much as I may have felt it. I liked the way Jacob touched me, kissed me, loved me, and there had been several occurrences where it felt like we might move on to the next level. There had been times I'd slowed him down and times when he'd slowed me down. No matter what things never seemed to have mutual timing. Now, it felt wrong to string him along towards something which might never happen. The divine power which had initially given Jacob and me this private time must have sensed my distress because in the next second my phone lit up and vibrated against the nightstand.

"It's probably my mom. Checking in."

"Every ten minutes," Jake mumbled.

"It is not _every_ ten minutes. She trusts us a little more than that."

"Well, she should. Because there really isn't anything going on, is there?" Jacob said with some continuing exasperation in his voice. I ignored him and picked up the phone prepared to see the word "Mom" lighting up the screen. Instead, I was surprised to read "Alina" in digital lettering. I converted the time zone in my head instantly. If it was 5:30 p.m. in Washington that would mean it was 3:30 in the morning in Romania. That could not be good.


	2. Qu'estce que c'est?

**Chapter II: Qu'est-ce que c'est?**

"I'll be right back," I said to Jacob as I exited the room. I knew he could probably hear me just as clearly from the adjacent room given the size of our cottage, but I needed the false privacy nonetheless. "Alina?" I asked after hitting the talk button.

"Nessie!" she shouted breathlessly at me. This was highly uncharacteristic of her as she was usually poised and well-spoken.

"What's going on?"

"Has anyone from the Council called you? Peyton? Tani?" Her breathless voice was now laced with eager distress.

"No, no one has called me recently." I had been in contact with the Council since its formation two and half years ago. Neither Jacob nor I had a significant role with them as of yet. Usually, Alina or Tani would just call me now and again to let me know what was going on and happily their stories were never particularly exciting. Boring meant peaceful in the vampire world.

"Can you come here?"

"Come to Romania? Now?"

"Yes."

"Alina, tell me what is happening." This conversation was all over the place and unlike Alina. She paused to take a breath and regained some of her usual composure. She spoke evenly but not calmly enough for my comfort.

"It is Rye. He is going to be on trial."

"What? Why?" It was now my voice which was a little breathless.

"It is complicated. He has done nothing wrong, I promise you. He was traveling in France while doing some work for the Council when a female vampire caught his scent. She is obsessed with him now and she will not leave him."

"Why would Rye go on trial for that?" This wasn't the first time Rye had attracted a female vampire. Reactions varied, for example, upon inhaling Rye's scent I would instantly become irritated – a feeling which was exacerbated by Rye's personality. He wasn't a bad person he just had a way of getting under my skin. This was minor compared to vampires who became obsessed with his scent. Some would even try to kill him. However, some attention he received was harmless. When he was around my mother and my aunts they just fawned over him. This was the only part of his ability he enjoyed.

"This female vampire has a mate, but since she has sensed Rye she has completely forfeited him. The mate wants her back."

"But it isn't Rye's fault, the Council knows that." Rye did not have any control over his scent. Luckily, he could run very fast.

"The mate argues the Council is too close to Rye to make a fair decision. They are going to assign new judges who can be impartial." I dropped into a seat nearest me in the living room. My mind reeled as I tried to solve the problem, but I had a feeling Alina had probably gone through the same thought processes already.

"Alina, what could they do? Rye doesn't have control over his scent anymore than we can control how we react to it."

"I am not certain. That is why you must go there. I am so afraid for him. I have not seen him in weeks." This was another strange admission. I believed Alina and Rye inseparable the last time I saw them. Alina was also actively involved with the Council and I couldn't imagine she would leave the situation so far out of her control.

"Aren't you at the castle?"

"No, I am staying with my brother."

"Why aren't you with Rye?"

"I just…I cannot be there right now." She evidently wasn't going to tell me. Europeans are so irritating when it comes to secrets.

"Alina, I don't know if I can just pick up and leave. Besides if Peyton hasn't asked me to come I don't know if I will be accepted there."

"You founded the Council and you are its most respected member. The judges will listen to you. Please, I need you to be there, for Rye. I have no one else to ask." I sighed loudly and ignored the list of excuses for not going to Romania my mind instinctively put together. I would need to argue the opposite side momentarily.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank-you." I pressed the end call button and walked back into my room wondering how much Jacob had listened to. He looked distracted however. His mind must have still been on our conversation. It's amazing how life events can throw things into perspective.

"How are Charlie and Sue?" he asked.

"It wasn't my mom. It was Alina."

"Oh. How is she doing?"

"Um, well…Jacob…how would you like to…?" My sentence faded away as Jacob's face became one of instant revulsion. He was quicker than I gave him credit. He immediately stood up and walked around the bed towards me as he pleaded,

"No…no, no, no, no, no. Do not even think to ask what you are about to ask."

"Jake, we have to," I hummed at him softly. He was never an adult when it came to talking about the Council.

"We are not going back to Romania. We were just there!"

"We were there two and a half years ago. That's hardly 'just.'"

"Close enough," Jacob barked at me.

"Jake, I'm on the Council and so are you."

"You promised we wouldn't be involved unless it was pertinent to our…whatever you call it, species."

"This is pertinent to us. It's Rye. Alina says he's on trial."

"What?"

"He's attracted some female vampire and her mate isn't happy about it. Alina is afraid of what might happen."

"Rye is practically on the Council too. Didn't you say he's always running errands for them?"

"Yeah, that's how he got into this trouble." Jacob placed both his hands on my shoulders. I was sure he wouldn't have tried to dissuade me if he had heard Alina's frightened pleas.

"He'll be fine. The Council is not going to destroy one of its own members."

"Alina asked me to come," I said with undeniable and inarguable resolve. Jacob dropped both his arms recognizing my tone – one which he hated because he knew when I used it I had made up my mind and wouldn't be swayed.

"At least call Peyton first. Maybe she's overreacting."

"I don't think Alina overreacts."

"You couldn't let it go to voicemail, could you?"


	3. I Hate People When They're Not Polite

**Chapter III: I Hate People When They're Not Polite  
**

The one thing about being a member of the Council which was unquestionably and irrevocably fantastic beyond belief was if I insisted to my parents my reason for leaving home was Council related they never argued me on it. Well, not _never _– more like half as much. This in turn made them fifty percent easier to convince. Now, I never lied or used it as an excuse to leave for I sincerely loved being at home most of the time. Yet, having that kind of freedom and responsibility was a euphoric experience for me. Jacob's feelings of course were completely opposite of mine. He had depended on my parents to put up a fight when I informed them we were needed in Romania. He sulked and growled the entire time they gave their worried yet pleasant farewells.

We arrived at the Council's headquarters a couple long plane rides later. The castle which held its fair share of positive and negative memories for me appeared much different from the last time I had seen it. Although it had always been large, it had been expanded upon to allow for more private rooms for members of the Council. Happily, it didn't detract from the builder's—that is, Ántonia's—original aesthetic.

Jacob and I entered through the large front door, unlocked as always, and shuffled through the initial corridors and towards the main reading room. Things were more organized than I had left them; not everyone could appreciate Ántonia's filing system – or lack there-of. This made my heart falter a little. It was also strange to see so many new doors between the thresholds of the fortress and I missed its once open feel.

Jacob and I set our things down in the main room. It was also much quieter then I had left it. The castle used to be buzzing constantly with vampires and other supernatural creatures. Perhaps things had calmed down lately. "Hello!" I called out into the rooms and hallways. Jacob stood silently; I could tell he was still sulking a little. I couldn't worry about him right now though. Another second passed and then I heard a few doors rapidly slam with the echoes of some quickly approaching footsteps.

"Nessie!" I heard a tiny and innocent voice chime at me. Jane's happy face was beaming as she ran towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist the second I was within reach. She was a good six inches shorter than me. I reciprocated her hug in friendship although I still had not gotten over her transformation entirely. She was so much like a teenager now. Dressed in skinny jeans and a mint green cashmere sweater with the cutest plaid headband in her hair; her charm was irresistible. One thing I was unsure I would ever get used to was her eyes, now a lovely shade of topaz, while comforting it was something I never thought I would see on her.

"Hello Jane. It's nice to see you again."

"You too! We've all missed you here! I did not even know you were coming!"

"I didn't know either." Jane released me as soon as Tani walked into the room. She still radiated a strange combination of warmth and sadness. She immediately scolded Jane, but it wasn't a very harsh scolding.

"Jane, is that the right way to greet our esteemed guests?"

"I'm sorry Tani," Jane said quietly and sincerely

"I apologize Nessie. She was just so excited when she heard you."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Jane's face was beaming again. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I wasn't able to get a hold of Peyton," I said seriously.

"Regardless, we thought you might come. I'm afraid not everyone is here at the moment. Several have gone to fetch the new judges, including Peyton—" Tani abruptly stopped speaking as someone I did not recognize entered the room. The creature was a young woman, thin as a rail and frozen around age 18 or 20. Her hair was a deep brown and cut sharply at a single length along her jaw line. Her bangs were also cut sharply along her eyebrows – a style which is popular every decade or so. I surmised her hairstyle must have been from the 1920's given her bob would have matched a flapper dress and headband easily. Her features had a sharpness about them as well, down to her very straight and pointed nose. She slinked through the room in a strange way, like she was stalking something. Her eyes were noticeably red and appeared to be strained unlike most vampires who usually appear still and relaxed. "Madeline. You have been told to stay in your room," Tani said coldly and with noticeable severity.

"I will return after I see him." Her voice was too sweet and sounded nearly unnatural. It must have been some kind of act. I noticed Jacob shudder when she spoke.

"You know that is not allowed. Jane, would you mind getting your brothers to escort Madeline back to her room?" Jane immediately set off through one of the corridors. The dark-haired Madeline gave a callous look towards Tani while she grasped a wooden armrest of an adjacent chair and her hand flexed tightly around it. When she released it there were definite indentations from her fingers. These were feats Jacob and I could have performed as well, but she did it while a wrinkle formed a deep crevice between her eyebrows. Breaking the furniture may have been some kind of catharsis. Finally, she breathed a sigh, flipped her hair once, and gave Jacob and me a once over. I usually had more confidence these days, but something about the way she stared with her wild eyes was unsettling.

"Well, are you going to introduce me?"

"Jacob, Renesmee, this is Madeline," Tani said with mock civility.

"I'm the one causing all the trouble, although it's all so unnecessary. I mean, if you would all just let me have what I want, what we both want, everything would be fine." Madeline had been speaking in the direction of Jacob and me even though we weren't quite up to speed on the situation. The way her venomous voice wound through her words made her increasingly uneasy to be near. I feared saying anything thinking it would cause her to snap at any moment. She obviously had some anger management issues denting the furniture and all.

"Madeline, things will be decided soon. Until then, we need you stay in your room," Tani repeated with more bravery than I possessed. Alec, Jane's biological brother, and Demetri, her figurative one, entered the room and were at Madeline's side instantly. Their faces looked a little more intense than normal, but I believed they were putting on a light act for Madeline's sake. Alec and Demetri were far gentler nowadays and she didn't appear much afraid of them.

"Yes, fine. See you later Jacob, Renesmee," she said and threw her hand in the air as she slinked back to the exit followed by the former Volturi guards.

"I'm sorry," Tani apologized when Madeline was out of sight. "Madeline is difficult to keep in one place. She's somewhat devious and Demetri and Alec are distracted too easily."

"She's the one who is obsessed with Rye?"

"Yes, unfortunately. She has some sort of tunnel vision when it comes to him."

"She seems a little…strange." There were plenty of devious vampires out there, but even Aro had his moments of normalcy when he was alive.

"Strange is one word for it," Jacob quipped. It was the first thing he had said since we arrived. I was glad it made Tani and Jane smile. Some of the stress seemed to escape from the room.

"The only reason she hasn't made an escape is we have promised her she can stay with Rye once the trial is over."

"She doesn't know what he's being tried for?"

"I'm not certain what she knows. It's as if the truth doesn't matter to her. All she sees is her undying passion…or, obsession. Rye had to convince her to behave while the trial is going on. She trusts him completely."

"Where is Rye now?"

"He's being held in one of the private rooms."

"Can I speak with him?"

"Yes, of course. He'll be very glad to see you. Just don't let Madeline see you. It may be for your own safety."

"O…kay…" I said while taking a slow breath and considering Tani's words. Jacob caught my arm before I could leave the room.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Um…no," I decided. "I think I need to speak with him alone first. Do you mind?"

"No. I guess not." I didn't like disappointing Jacob and I really didn't like making him more unhappy than he already was, but I also didn't have time to deal with our problems when there were more serious things at stake. Tani stepped forward and gave me an apologetic look. She must have noticed our conspicuously distant behavior.

"Jacob can give Jane and me some company. Would you like to see the additions to the castle?"

"Yeah, sure," Jacob said without sounding the least bit genuinely interested. Tani and Jane both locked an arm with Jacob and led him through one of the corridors. Jacob still did not look anymore thrilled to be here. Relationships are simply not good platforms for multi-tasking. Reluctantly, I pushed our issues aside and began my search for Rye.


	4. Psycho Killer

**Chapter IV: Psycho Killer **

Rye's scent was more than easy to pick up on. After sensing it I noticed the stress building at the base of my neck and my internal frustration was heightened. My initial reaction to Rye made me more like Madeline then I'd like to admit. The scent led me to part of the new construction of the castle. Felix was standing next to the door my nose told me Rye was behind. Felix's eyes reflected kindness just as Jane's did and I doubted he would enjoy fighting anymore.

"Hello Felix."

"Hello Miss Nessie! We have missed you, especially Jane."

"I've missed you too. Have you been behaving for Tani?"

"Yes, of course. Right now I'm making sure Rye stays in his room, but he doesn't ever try to escape.

"Do you mind if I go in?"

"Of course not. I think the founder of the Council can do whatever she pleases." I returned the smile Felix was flashing at me and entered the room. Rye was standing near a partially transparent window staring out at the thick foliage and looking thoroughly distracted. Why would there be a window in a room intended to be a prison cell? Not to mention any vampire could probably break through the walls. I had to speak to get his attention.

"Rye?" He turned around so quickly my eyes couldn't process it fast enough for my brain.

"Nessie?" he asked in earnest. He sped towards me and wrapped me in a friendly and relieved hug. He was a good six inches taller than me. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?"

"Saving your sorry rear end," I said after he released me. I meant it partly as a joke of course, but Rye didn't appear to be in a joking mood.

"Don't start," he commanded.

"Oh I think it's already started. You know you're an idiot, right?" Admittedly, that wasn't very nice. Rye just brought out the worst in me and he was always getting himself in ridiculous situations. I blamed my poor attitude on the scent and the fact that I hadn't been in contact with it in a while.

"Did you come here just to make fun of me?"

"No, that's just a perk. Alina asked me to come."

"She did? Did you talk to her? How is she?" Rye was so sincerely concerned he made it impossible to continue to antagonize him.

"She's really upset," I admitted and unfortunately it was all I knew about the situation. "Why isn't she here? She said something about being at her brother's?"

"Yeah, I sent her away," Rye said quietly.

"Why?"

"Have you met Madeline yet?"

"Yeah, briefly, just now."

"What did you think of her?"

"She's a little…strange," I said repeating the adjective I'd used before. I hadn't yet thought of a better descriptor.

"Um, she's not strange. She's psychotic," Rye spun his figure around next to his temple exhibiting the universal gesture for crazy.

"Is that why Alina isn't here?"

"Madeline tried to kill her."

"What?! Why would she do that? Alina is, well, you know, poisonous."

"She didn't try to bite her." There seemed to be quite a bit Alina hadn't informed me of.

"Oh my god. Wait, go back to the beginning. Why won't Madeline leave you alone in the first place?" Rye sat on an armrest of a modern leather club chair. He ran his hand over his face to express his frustration.

"It has to do with her ability in combination with mine. She is extremely loyal, to an impossible degree. She would throw herself in front of a train so to speak. That's why her mate wants her back so badly although he won't admit it. She's the ultimate body guard. Her crazy loyalty is now somehow mixed up with my overly attractive scent. It's made her part with her mate and stick to me."

"There's no reasoning with her?"

"Believe me, we've tried. There's no reasoning with Luca either. That's her mate, or _was_ her mate."

"So, why did Madeline try to kill Alina?" Rye's frustration increased as this was no doubt a touchy subject for him. If he were human he would have certainly given himself an ulcer by now.

"She's reacting so differently to my scent. Normally, she would just want to kill me to keep me from being with anyone else. But she's beyond wanting to kill me. She wants to kill anything else that wants me." Rye collapsed in a comfortable looking chair, again, not all that prison-like, while I continued my barrage of questions.

"If Madeline is attempting to kill Alina why is the Council even considering Luca's case?"

"If you haven't noticed she's a little twisted and she's sneaky. One morning about three weeks ago, after Madeline had been around a few days, I noticed the coffee Alina was making smelled different than normal – off. Alina didn't notice a difference with her human nose, but I forced her to dump it out. She gave some of it to her father and he discovered it had traces of arsenic. We don't have any proof she did it."

"Oh _come_ on," I said in exasperation. No wonder Rye was in such an ulcer-inducing state.

"You're telling me. I thought it best to get Alina out of here until Madeline is gone."

"That makes sense," I agreed. It must have been torture for them both to be separated. I was a little surprised he'd even convinced her to leave at all.

"It's all just evidence for the trial now."

"So, what do you think is going to happen at the trial? Alina seemed to expect the worst."

"Luca wants me dead," Rye said bluntly and I couldn't come up with a reaction…whatever the correct one was. Yes, the thought had crossed my mind, but I brushed it aside as soon as it entered. It would have been a crime to carry out such a sentence. Rye continued to explain, "Since Madeline won't leave me the only solution is to get rid of me so he can have his mate back. He thinks once I'm permanently gone she'll come to her senses."

"You've done nothing illegal."

"But I did inadvertently steal someone's mate. Vampires are remarkably sensitive about mates." Aside from creating immortal children and exposing vampires to humans, killing another vampire's mate was the only other taboo. The same was true in the werewolf world and it was even true in the human world to some degree. There were countless number of books and films expressing the theme. If you want to truly torment someone you kill their lover, not the person.

"Rye, is there anything I can do?" I asked with as much sensitivity as I could muster. It wasn't difficult to do. Once I got the initial irritation out of my system I remembered the noble qualities Rye possessed and it was impossible to dislike him.

"Do you think you could go visit Alina for me? I haven't talked to her in weeks. I'm going crazy."

"Yes, Jacob and I will leave right now."

"Thank-you." I turned toward the exit leaving behind a distraught and hopeless man. I hadn't done much to lift his spirits and I felt poorly about that.

"Oh, one more thing," I turned back to him. "Why exactly are you being held prisoner? Couldn't you escape? Felix isn't doing much to keep you in."

"He's there to keep Madeline out if you hadn't already guessed. And I could outrun anyone, but Alina told me to stay. She said running away would just make me look guilty."

"She's probably right."

"She always is."


	5. I Can't Sleep

**Chapter V: I Can't Sleep  
**

Jacob and I were lying side by side in the guest room of Alina's brother's house. It wasn't the first time Jacob and I had slept in the same bed. We would every time I stayed over at his house, but never at my own. My parents didn't approve of it and they could not possibly have been more hypocritical in that sense. I knew quite well they barely spent a night apart since they met. "Do what I say, not what I do" appeared to be their motto when it came to parenting. Jacob was sound asleep; exhausted from a combination of jetlag and being irritated at me. You know how people say you should never go to bed mad? Well, this is what we were doing.

We had arrived at Alina's current place of residence in the late afternoon. She was staying with her oldest brother who Jacob had apparently met when he was canvassing the Gypsies two years ago. He entertained us for a while with his psychokinetic abilities; now there was a truly useful power. All the good powers went to the Gypsies, I swear. After a few hours of chatting and reassuring Alina that Rye would be okay (not that we were really all that sure) we finally retired to the guest room. I wasn't sleeping soundly – or at all. I ran my checklist of problems through my head over and over. Fight with Jacob about sex, fight with Jacob about marriage, and fight with Jacob about the Council. Not to mention trying to come to personal terms with sex, marriage, and my own future with the Council. More importantly, Rye's life was in question at the moment and as much as it should have thrown all those other things into perspective I couldn't remove my private problems from my mind. I had no barriers from my subconscious any longer. Everything was there all the time. My power was so stupid…

I was too wired to try to sleep any longer so I got out of bed and started wandering through the small house. It was very late, past three in the morning, so I was surprised to see Alina up. She was sitting in the living room staring out a large bay window near the front door.

"Alina?" She jumped as a said her name. I thought back to Rye who I also startled while he stood in the same position just this morning.

"Nessie…could you not sleep?"

"Not really. I have too much on my mind." _Literally and figuratively_, I thought. "You?"

"The same." I took a few steps toward her and sat on the armrest of the sofa.

"I'm so sorry this is happening Alina," I offered for the twentieth time.

"I always knew being with Rye would be complicated. I just did not have the capacity to predict this kind of complication."

"None of us could have predicted this, including Rye." Alina gazed back through the window. I was 0 for 2 in the comforting department today. There was something else I had been thinking of discussing with Alina; however, I wasn't sure if it would comfort her. I might as well go for broke. "Alina, can I ask you something? You might think it's a terrible thing to ask."

"Go ahead," she prodded. She was one of the smartest people I knew and there was probably very little which could truly shock her.

"Have you ever thought about becoming a vampire?" Her face was hidden behind her long raven-colored hair so I couldn't gauge her reaction. She was staring at her palm while the other hand traced the creases in it. I wondered if Gypsies could read palms like they did in the movies.

"Rye does not want it for me," she said flatly.

"What do you want?"

"I am not sure. I want him. That I know. There is so much to keep me human as well." She thought about this far more clearly than my mother did before she became a vampire. I didn't doubt her love for Rye, but perhaps because Alina was so connected with the supernatural world as it was she had a better understanding of the consequences. There was one piece of information she did not have a solid understanding of yet. I moved around from the armrest of the couch and sat closer to Alina. I spoke with a little more softness.

"Alina, you know about Sasha right? The first vampire you ever saw?"

"Ántonia's friend?"

"Yes, he was a very close friend of mine as well. Did you know much about his life before he was a vampire?"

"No," she answered honestly and with some curiosity in the voice. She had no idea where this was going.

"He was a Gypsy. He was turned during the time the Volturi were coming to power."

"I…did not know."

"Yes. He was changed by a newborn who didn't know about the adverse effects of Gypsy blood. Sasha was a very…_different_ kind of vampire – different from me even. His lineage made him different. It could be seen as good or bad, depends on how you look at it. He did have an ability as a Gypsy and as a vampire his power increased very much. However, he was slow…or just, not fast. He moved like a human would move. And his eyes didn't change, they were blue." A sad smile crossed my lips as I remembered their icy clarity. "He could have lived among humans with no difficulty."

"That is incredible."

"Most importantly, his thirst was different too. He only fed once every ten years. He never felt the compulsion at any other time. However, he had to drink human blood. Animal blood could not sustain him. It's kind of a catch-22. Also, he wasn't immune to Gypsy blood. That I know for certain." Alina stared down at her palm again as I finished my story.

"It explains his aura…his was the most pure white I have ever seen." I smiled at Alina's statement. It was nice to learn new things about a person who was no longer in my life; it made me feel like he still had a presence. I may have been with Jacob now but I never stopped missing Sasha. He had been a wonderful friend and illuminated so many parts of my personality. I was who I was because of him.

"I have thought of it…becoming a vampire," Alina admitted with a gulp. She continued as I suspected she would, principled and fierce. "I have never found a great enough justification for it other my own selfishness."

"I can't imagine making such a sacrifice. One will be made with either decision you make."

"Yes…it is kind of funny." Alina began laughing. Sleep deprivation must have been making her a little punchy.

"What's funny?"

"Just imagine it!" she said through giggles. "The world's fastest vampire with the world's slowest. Rye would never have the patience for me." I laughed despite the serious situation. I saw some tension leave Alina's eyes, if only for a moment. She smiled back at me.

"You and Jacob seem to have come to a good place, at least in the letters you write me. You said you were both very happy."

"We are…most of the time."

"What is the matter? Earlier, the two of you did not appear as you had described."

"Nevermind, it's not a good time to talk about it."

"Nessie, I have been driving myself crazy thinking about Rye for the past two weeks, I could use a distraction."

"It's just…uh…we've been struggling towards taking our relationship…to the next level," I fumbled and blushed at my own words. I couldn't even talk about this with a female friend. Then again, I didn't have very many female friends. I'd never discussed anything romantic with Leah.

"You mean…you have not had sex yet?" Alina's bluntness surprised me and I nodded while I felt my face become even warmer. I only managed to clear my throat in response. "That is fine," she said considerately. "If you are not comfortable then you should not feel pressed to do so. It will happen when the time is right."

"It's not that simple. I think I am comfortable. There are times when it would be all but too easy. Jake and I just don't know what the consequences would be."

"I see. I had some experience with that myself, not knowing what would happen with Rye."

"You and Rye have…?" Alina nodded sheepishly, but she did not blush the same way I did.

"Not right away. It was not until I turned eighteen and after we had spoken with my father about it. He and a doctor from our community performed some tests to see how we should prepare ourselves. It was awkward, but it was necessary. My father was ultimately happy we were being smart about it. Plus, he did get to do a lot of research on vampires which he found interesting."

"What did he come up with?" I nervously asked.

"We all realized from your parent's experience—that is, your existence—some kind of preventative measures should be taken. He determined neither pills nor contraceptives would work. You know how when vampires wear contacts they eventually burn away; it works the same way with other things."

"Ah…okay…then how did you avoid getting pregnant?"

"As it turns out, there is one vital difference between your mother and me. My lineage protects me as well. My blood is toxic to vampires and vampire venom. All forms of it."

"Oh…ew…" I said and I suddenly wished I could retract this conversation. Alina stifled a laugh. She was _laughing_! Even the 18-year-old was more adult than me.

"Is that your fear? You will become pregnant?"

"Well, it did happen to my mother." Under very, very different circumstances, but that was beside the point.

"Perhaps it is simpler than you are making it. You and Jacob are both human."

"That's true. But I may be worrying for nothing."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think it's possible for me to get pregnant." I faked a smile as I said it; trying to make light of the situation even though the words felt like a ten-ton boulder in my chest. This was what I had been hiding from Jake. This was my reason for prolonging the waiting. It may have not made much sense but the fear of the unknown was crippling. Alina ignored my false enthusiasm and spoke kindly,

"Why would you think that?"

"I've stopped. I don't grow anymore, I don't age. My body doesn't change anymore. I've reached that frozen point."

"I am sorry Nessie," she said tenderly to me. I was supposed to be the one comforting her. I regretted bringing this up. There was no way to put it back. I rubbed my hands over my face trying to force the redness out.

"It's stupid right? To feel sad about something I never thought I wanted in the first place. Something I would never be able to do. I'm too young to be sad about this," I argued as my lip quivered. I bit down on it and fought the urge to cry tenaciously.

"It is not stupid. It is part of being a woman."

"I've never admitted this to anyone. Don't tell Jake." Alina nodded silently and moved from her chair to join me on the couch. She took my hand in hers and I wondered for a moment if she was going to predict my future. No one had ever been able to do so in the past. I kind-of wished she could have.

"Everything will be fine," she chanted. I realized how empty my words regarding Rye must have sounded to her; however, I desperately wanted to believe her.

* * *

A/N: This story may be completed, but I'm still very interrested to know what the readers think about the prospect of Nessie having children. Send me a message or review if you have an opinion!


	6. Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run Away

**Chapter VI: Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Away… **

Jacob and I left the next morning and returned to the castle; barely a word passed between us the entire drive back. The silent treatment was becoming frustrating, but we were simply too stubborn to make any leeway on the matter. Of course, Jacob didn't know entirely what I was upset about. At the moment I preferred to let him think I was just holding out on him. The real reason was too overwhelming to think about, let alone verbalize to him. It may have been better this way. It certainly wouldn't have been appropriate timing.

Council members were returning with constituents from their clans or tribes or packs, whatever you wanted to label them, to serve as the impartial judges for this joke of a trial. Marthe was the first back and she returned with the one of the two remaining male werewolves in existence. His name was Jens (he was German so the "J" is pronounced like a "Y") and like Marthe no one would have ever guessed he transformed into a potentially lethal monster during the full moon. You kind-of knew something was up with Jacob and his pack given they were all almost seven feet tall and perfectly muscled, not to mention they got that way in a matter of weeks. Jens on the other hand, was average in height, average in muscle tone, and even wore a pair of black thick-rimmed glasses because he had terrible eyesight. I wondered if he needed them when he transformed. All the half-wolf creatures did smell similar however and the three of them hung around each other quite a bit for the next few days forming a small wolf fraternity. It may have been instinctive or Jacob may have just been trying to get away from me; probably a combination of both.

Kwame and Nia returned with a striking and significantly older merman. He was bald just like every other mer-person I'd ever met, but his skin was quite different. He only wore shorts and his dark skin shimmered like it was still wet and looked more distinctly like…well, fish scales. There was no way he could live in the human world without creating a stir. The fins on his calves jutted out sharply and he made no attempt to cover them like Nia and Kwame had. He also didn't wear any shoes although it was doubtful anyone could have found a pair to fit him. I didn't introduce myself to him because it was unlikely he would have wanted to meet me. He probably didn't even want to come along. The mermaid/vampire relations were still strained despite the progress which had been made.

The vampires Cristian, Natalie, and Peyton returned with counterparts to replace their votes and Tani's and the Council headquarters were filled to capacity. While Jake was hanging out with the werewolves I made sure to meet everyone and determine if Rye had a shot at this trial. Unfortunately, there really wasn't such a thing as a truly impartial jury. Everyone knew everyone given the vampire community isn't an enormous one. They all knew Rye had a weird scent, they all knew Luca and Madeline had been together for decades, and although they wouldn't admit it straight out, they all insinuated Madeline had always been a little strange, but not the all-out crazy she was now. The process was frustrating and worrying, but I was doing my best to get us Rye though this in one piece. Currently, I was serving as mock-prosecutor to Rye.

"So, how did you meet Madeline, again?"

"I was in France delivering a message to a group of vampires who had not yet expressed their allegiance to the Council."

"And Madeline was part of this group?"

"Yes."

"As was her mate, Luca?"

"Yes."

"Were you aware they were mates at the time you met them?"

"Not entirely."

"Why not?"

"Sometimes…it is difficult…with my ability…"

"Come on Rye, you're going to have to sound a little more articulate than that!"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"Just tell the truth."

"The truth isn't going to matter here."

"Of course it is." Rye rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead to relieve the tension which must have been building there. Jacob just sat passively and ignored the interrogation. I knew he was ignoring it because when Rye spoke to him his body tensed in surprise. "Jacob, can you please explain to your girlfriend no one is going to care what I have to say? You understand politics, right?" Jacob looked to me briefly before he spoke. We hadn't made eye contact in a while and it felt strange. It also felt strange that it felt strange…if that makes any sense.

"The truth is what this organization is all about, right?" Jacob said while holding on to our uncomfortable eye contact. It may have gone over Rye's head but I knew full well part of his sentence was meant for me.

"It doesn't matter if I didn't take her on purpose! It doesn't matter that I don't want her! All that matters is the only way I can get her to leave me is if I'm dead."

"The Council would never do that," I said confidently.

"They may not have a choice," Rye said forcefully and with just as much confidence.

"There is always a choice, Rye," I said quietly. Rye was massaging his forehead again. It was like I was watching the once care-free nineteen-year-old age before my eyes.

"I miss her…" he said in a whisper. I would have responded "I know" or "don't worry" but the phrases felt small and empty compared to the gravity of his pain. The inconclusiveness of his and Alina's future made my problems seem minor. No matter what I knew I'd always have Jacob. No one was trying to keep us apart…except me.

I could only dwell on this another moment before the three of us heard the door creak open and shut again quickly. There at the door was the dark-haired and sharp-nosed Madeline. The corners of her mouth were raised up in a wicked grin of satisfaction. Felix and the others must have been distracted. It was easier to do these days what with all the commotion.

"Hello, Rye," she said while licking her lips. She sauntered from the door and moved toward Rye in her stalk-like manner.

"Now Madeline, you weren't supposed to leave your room."

"How am I supposed to stay cooped up in that room all day when I know you are no more than a hundred feet from me. How can you _stand_ the separation?" she pleaded. Rye was certainly a drug to her and she was an addict experiencing withdrawal. She was only a few feet from Rye now though he kept backing away as slowly as he could manage. I was glad he could outrun her if necessary. Jacob had left his seat on the couch and was standing protectively just an inch from me. At least I knew from this gesture we weren't lost entirely. I felt empowered with Jacob next to me and I spoke assuredly to Madeline, although I probably shouldn't have given her mentally fragile state.

"Madeline, you should leave, now." Madeline immediately turned towards me and hissed. The sharpness had now permeated her entire face and I could see behind her eyes she was thinking of ten different ways to kill me. Rye instantly sought to distract her.

"Madeline! I told you we'd be together after the trial. Once Luca is out of the picture, remember?" Madeline's face became sentimental as she was reminded of Rye's lie. With all the discussion going on in the castle how could she believe his fabrication? Hopefully the bizarre connection she had forged with Rye was blocking her capacity for sense and logic. Love had the ability to do that…and obsession certainly did as well.

"My darling, we will be together soon. I just do not like it when other people try to get in the way," she said too sweetly as she referenced me. Jacob moved a half-inch closer still.

"I know, but we have to be patient. Neither of us will get what we want if we cannot wait." Rye was a pretty decent actor, I had to give him that much. His scent most certainly helped.

"I just missed you _so_ much," she whined and leaned her body into Rye's. Rye went rigid and looked uncomfortable under her touch, though he always looked uncomfortable when he stood still.

"I know how you feel." This was the first sentence of his which wasn't a lie. Suddenly, the door creaked open again and Felix was now standing in the threshold.

"There you are! When Peyton hears about this…"

"Don't speak! You'll strain what little bit of your mind remains. As if any of you are actually keeping me anywhere. I just stay in that room to please my beloved. I would scratch your eyes out if not for him." Felix made the most menacing grimace he could, but it wasn't half as scary as his grimace was before his memories were erased. Poor Volturi guards just didn't have it in them anymore – proving cruelty is a learned behavior in some cases.

"Let's go," Felix said determinedly. Madeline turned back to the door and exited swiftly, but not without glancing at me again icily. Okay, so I wasn't going to eat or drink anything I didn't personally hunt while I was here.

"God! That girl is messed up!" Jacob said with some exasperation once the door had closed behind Felix. Jacob sat back down on the couch. Our disconnection disappointed me and I missed him even though we were within ten feet of one another. We were back to giving each other the cold shoulder.

"She's easy enough to handle, but she's unpredictable too. I'm afraid of what she might do at the trial."

"She _is_ strange though. Something about her just doesn't feel right," I speculated.

"The girl is whacked," Jacob explained. It was probably true to some extent.

"Something is certainly off. So what is actually going to happen at the trial?" The trial was to begin tomorrow morning. There had only been a couple trials since the Council was formed and they were for minor discrepancies – nothing like Rye's predicament. Regardless, I hadn't been present for a trial yet.

"They interview witnesses themselves. After they're done if there are any questions the prosecution or the defense still have they can ask them. Then the judges discuss it and take a vote. The verdict does not have to be unanimous."

"Seems fair."

"Yeah, I guess. Except I'm pretty sure the judges understand the truth, but it doesn't mean they won't kill me as a verdict."

"No one is going to execute you. Don't even think it. The Council is made up of brilliant and reasonable people. If we can't come up with a better solution then we're not doing a very good job." Rye sighed again. He might have been getting tired of my encouragement – sometimes people just want to be upset for the sake of being upset. I did have to look after the guy though, for Alina's sake.

"Nessie, maybe we should think about heading to bed," Jacob suggested. As much as my internal sensors wanted to delay heading back to our room, I silently agreed. I walked up to Rye and gave him a quick hug and a smile. I repeated a phrase Alina had spoken to me a few nights prior. I hoped it would hold some weight with him.

"Everything will be fine."

Rye just nodded. I doubted very much that he believed me. I didn't take it personally though. I wasn't what he wanted.


	7. You're Talking A Lot

**Chapter VII: You're Talking A Lot  
**

"How did you and Madeline meet?"

"We met in New York in 1955. The one who turned her was dead and she was looking for some camaraderie."

"And you and she have been together since then?"

"Yes. Not long after we met she expressed her devotion to me. The feeling was mutual. My coven has had different members throughout that time but Madeline has always been beside me." It was around noon and the trial was well underway and for such a serious process it was situated rather informally. Everyone was assembled in the main sitting room as it was the only room large enough to accommodate all the new arrivals. The judges either stood or sat, whichever was more comfortable, among sofas and chairs on one side of the room while everyone else sat on the other. When it was someone's turn to be interrogated they would stand at the center of the room under the critical eyes of over a dozen supernatural creatures.

In comparison to all the vampires I had ever met Luca's physique was on the weaker side. He was short, probably only a few inches taller than me, with black hair and a permanent goatee. He had done an excellent job thus far explaining how distraught he was over losing the love of his life. The words were lost on Madeline however. She just sat tensely in her chair throwing sideways glances at Rye and wicked icy stares at everyone else. Even the new judges looked uncomfortable when making contact with her crazy eyes. They weren't necessarily afraid of her; well, maybe Jens was, but she was so off-putting…something was definitely wrong with the girl. Currently, Peyton was leading the interview with Luca trying to get his side of the story.

"Is that a result of her ability?"

"Perhaps partially, but her reaction to that incubus is unnatural."

"Wait a second! I am not an incubus!" Rye yelled and stood up from his seat.

"You're right, you seduce vampires. There isn't even a word for that," Luca seethed back. Peyton stood up from his seat to reestablish his authority.

"You will be quiet Rye. Your turn will come. And Luca, you will answer the Council's questions and refrain from insinuation."

"Yes, your honor," Luca answered plainly. Peyton sat back down and looked to the other judges.

"Do any of you have any remaining questions for Luca?" Jens spoke up first.

"Luca, what did you mean by Rye's ability to seduce vampires? Did he seduce Madeline?" Jens wouldn't have understood the power of his scent. He probably just smelled like any other vampire would smell to him, bad.

"Rye's scent is different from most vampires. He uses it to increase a female's affections and then he can use them at his disposal."

"So, you are accusing Rye of using this scent to seduce female vampires and then expressing control over them?"

"Precisely. One moment Madeline is loyal to me and the next she is latched to him. Why should her feelings for me be forfeited so easily and for no reason?" Rye fidgeted in his chair; which didn't make much sense given there were no humans present to pretend to fidget for. The angry must have been rolling through him.

"I believe that is all we require of you Luca. You may return to your seat." Luca moved from standing in front of the Council members to sit on a chair nearby Demetri. The Council didn't whisper among each other, they didn't even give each other eye contact. They just sat passively and looked practically bored until Peyton said, "Miss Madeline, would you please come to the center of the room." A few of the supernatural judges perked up as Madeline strolled to stand in front of the judges. Her eyes were red and strained as if they actually reflected her lack of sleep for the last eighty years. She slinked in between the chairs and smiled too sweetly; it looked fake. "Miss Madeline, when were you turned?"

"In December of 1929."

"At the start of the Great Depression?"

"Yes, I was alone. I don't like being alone. The one who turned me promised I would no longer be alone."

"Would you please tell us how you met Luca, and how he became your mate?"

"I don't want Luca, I want Rye," She responded sweetly, yet it sounded forced.

"Why don't you want to be with Luca any longer?"

"I don't want him. I want Rye. We want to be together." She looked back at Rye and confidently nodded. Rye looked away from her and toward the nearest open window. Madeline looked disappointed when he didn't respond. Her eyebrows narrowed and her fingers flexed. There was no furniture for her to damage within her reach. I couldn't help moving my hand to clutch Jacob's.

"What is your special ability Madeline?"

"I am faithful. I have absolute loyalty."

"What came of your loyalty to Luca?"

"I want _Rye_," her admission became more of a demand then a statement and completely contradicted the whole "absolute loyalty" thing she just mentioned. The thing about vampires is they are excellent liars. They do not have heartbeats which pick up speed or any physical ticks which plague humans when they lie. Therefore the ability to tell when a vampire is lying is just as important a skill. You didn't need that skill with Madeline. She wasn't lying, at least not at the moment. Her obsession was clouding everything except what she desired most. Luca was sure to point this out.

"You see? His scent has ruined her mind! She doesn't even recall her feelings for me!" he begged. I wasn't skilled enough yet to tell if that was a lie. Peyton just ignored him.

"Madeline, was it Rye's scent which attracted you to him?"

"Naturally." Madeline said with a toothy smile. This was the first time I noticed all of the new judges were male, including all the vampires. They wouldn't react to Rye the same way female vampires did. This had to have been a conscious decision by the Council. Getting anymore female vampires in here would be a bad idea, especially if Madeline thought they might be attracted to Rye. Whether or not Rye realized this I didn't know. I looked over at him. He was clenching the armrests of his chair. His instinct to turn and run out the door must have been unbearable.

"So, would you say you chose him, Miss Madeline?"

"Look…" Madeline took a dangerous pause which made me want to take a step back. "I. Want. Rye. There isn't anything I desire more. This trial doesn't matter. We will be together…I will make sure of it." Her eyes practically glowed with anger. Peyton wisely decided not to push her any further.

"Fine then. You may return to your seat, unless there are any other questions?" None of the vampires, werewolves, or mer-people spoke up. We all knew she was convinced in her actions. There wasn't any changing of her mind. I don't think there had ever been a case of a vampire with a mental illness, but we might have just come across one. "I think we will adjourn until tomorrow morning when we will interview the defense and any residual questions can be posed." Everyone silently agreed and the judges stood up and left of their own accord. It didn't make sense to stop. Supernatural creatures harbor a little more endurance than humans. It must have just been a part of the process; it would prevent them from making any rash decisions – a mistake the Volturi had made time and time again.

Madeline was escorted by Demetri and Felix back to her room while Jane and Alec kept an eye on Luca. Tani stood with us as we watched them all disappear into one of the corridors. Once Madeline's frightening presence had finally exited I remembered I was still gripping Jacob's hand. I let go, immediately feeling embarrassed I had let myself become so frightened. Jacob immediately put his hand in his pocket and turned away from me walking the direction of Rye's room. I followed him, silently wondering what he had thought of my fears which may have just permeated his mind.


	8. But You're Not Saying Anything

**Chapter VIII: But You're Not Saying Anything  
**

This wasn't going well. Yes, Madeline did appear to be insane but it seemed to be on account of Rye and his irresistible scent and if that was the case what kind of penalty could be expected? This is what Rye was currently mulling over in his room while Jake and I gave our unending support.

"I'll tell you what the penalty will be! They'll make me keep her! That would be the ultimate punishment, wouldn't it?

"They won't do that, Rye," I insisted.

"God! I hate that evil, twisted, little…"

"Rye, calm down."

"I don't even know what else to ask. What would be the point? She just comes off as crazy and it appears to be all my fault."

"You still have to give your side of things."

"I can't even explain her reaction and I can't do anything to stop it. This trial is pointless."

"You should be thankful for the trial. If things were the way they used to be Luca would have just killed you or you would have killed him. Someone would be dead."

"Someone still could be dead." I opened my mouth to give another comment, but Jacob motioned for me to pause. It was probably best to stop arguing. It had been useless and redundant and it was impossible to talk to Rye at the moment. He stood next to the window and placed his hands on the large sill. His head hung down and his chin could have been touching his chest. How desperately he must have wanted to run. He could have so easily and no one would have ever been able to catch him. But it wasn't for his own sake he was staying. There was no way he could have a future with Alina if they had to stay on the run 24-hours a day. The earth is only so big.

Jacob approached him at an eighth the speed Rye could move and placed an understanding hand on his shoulder. "Rye…" he said sympathetically.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said wearily. "You're just trying to help me." Hadn't I been saying that all night? Then again, who was I to talk? I pretty much failed at communication with the opposite sex. Happily though, within the next second the door creaked open and I wouldn't be needed to communicate with Rye anymore.

"Hi," a familiar voice said from the doorway. Rye's head lifted up and turned at an average rate, still weighted down by his heavy situation.

"Alina…" He breathed quietly and before I could blink his arms were wrapped ferociously around her. "You shouldn't be here. It's not safe," he said instantly – almost robotically.

"_Please_…I am not afraid of vampires," Alina said wryly while a smile crossed her face. Rye was still fiercely serious, but I could tell other selfish emotions were wearing down his resolve.

"You should go back to your brother's. The trial will be over soon," he commanded.

"From what Tani tells me it sounds like the trial will not be ending in your favor."

"There's still another day of questioning. I just need to prove I'm not trying to steal her away."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"I…I'm not sure yet," Rye faltered. Alina smiled a little brighter and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Are you done trying to send me away?" Rye sighed dramatically.

"Yes…yes…I am," Rye conceded. His voice was honestly confused and rightly so. He must have been experiencing a myriad of emotions. Fear, guilt, lust, anger, and maybe even happiness…yeah, that sounds confusing.

"Good, because I was not actually considering your opinion on the matter."

"I missed you…god, I missed you," he whispered tenderly as he ignored her sharp statement. His hands went to the sides of her face and he leaned his forehead forward so it touched hers, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent deeply. Alina's eyes remained open. She was probably observing his aura which had to be reflecting the murky gray of his future.

"I missed you," she whispered back.

"Alina, what if this is it?" he asked abruptly.

"What do you mean?" Rye pulled away and bravely opened his eyes.

"What if this is the last time I see you…I can't…."

"Stop," she said assuredly and a little like she was scolding a child. "Do not speak like that. I am here now and we are together, that is all that matters." The scene was devastating and I was only watching it. It was then I noticed Jacob was at my side. I looked up at him and hoped he would be looking at me, but he wasn't. How long had it been since we'd looked at each other like that?

"Guys, I think we're going to head to our room. Will you be alright, here?" Jacob said casually. I didn't want to leave because the problem hadn't yet been solved. I didn't want this to be their last night; however, if it in fact was they probably didn't want me around.

"Yes…we will be fine," Alina said with confidence only she possessed. I followed Jacob in the direction of our room. The last thing I saw was their embrace as I closed the door. I wasn't sure if I would see them again in the morning. Maybe the only solution would be to run away.


	9. You Start a Conversation

**Chapter IX: You Start a Conversation**

"I can't believe she came here. When Madeline finds out she's going to go ballistic."

"She loves him," I said softly in response to Jacob's rant.

"God help them both." We were alone for the first time today. Jacob was sitting on the bed and I was nervously tapping my fingers against a wooden dresser. The tension felt so much like our last discussion in Forks the déjà vu made me ill.

We hadn't been alone very much lately. I would like to say it was subconsciously done, but I couldn't make that excuse. So I decided to make up a different one. "You know, I think I'm going to go talk to Tani for a little bit."

"Now? It's kind-of late."

"It doesn't make much difference to her, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?" I interrupted. Jacob paused for a thoughtful moment. Was he going to break our silent treatment or was he stubbornly going to wait for me to do so?

"Nothing," he said finally. There was a whole lot of something hidden behind his nothing, but I was too chicken to implore further.

"Okay. I'll go then."

"Wait, stop. Hold on," Jacob said quickly and stood up from the bed. His "nothing" statement had obviously been a ploy to pique my attention, but he underestimated my ability to ignore our situation.

"What Jake?" I said with some exasperation. It had been a very long day and I wasn't sure I had the required emotional energy to deal with our fight…or non-fight…or whatever you want call the strangeness going on between us.

"What's going on with you?" he demanded.

"What do you mean?" I asked and immediately felt like an idiot after the words spilled from my mouth.

Jacob called me out on it. "You know what I mean. You've been distant lately."

"I have not," I spat my words and crossed my arms across my stomach defensively. The gesture was about the only defense I had.

"You're always trying to get away from me. We've been alone all of thirty seconds and you've already tried to bolt from the room."

"I said I wanted to talk to Tani."

"Yes, 'talk to Tani,' 'strategize with Rye,' 'interview the new vampires'. There's always something."

"Those are all important things," I said, my argument failing miserably. I was too tired for this.

"Those are all things you've used to distract yourself and avoid our situation."

I couldn't take all this pointing out of the…truth. I went on the offensive. "Yeah, well, what about you? You've been spending all your time with Marthe and Jens forming a werewolf club. You've barely said a word to me since we got here."

"I haven't had anything to say."

"And now you do?"

"Yes." _Damn it._ Why did I even ask?

"Well, your timing sucks."

"Oh, so when would the timing be convenient for you?" Jacob asked with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Oh, I don't know, how about when our friend's lives aren't at stake?" I responded with just as much sarcasm.

"There were plenty of opportunities. You never wanted to talk about any of it."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning sex," he shouted bluntly. I couldn't look him in the eye after that. "You have never wanted to seriously talk about it." I rolled my eyes.

"Please Jacob, there are far more significant things going on right now other than whether or not we have sex."

"I know that, but this distancing thing was going on before we came here and maybe even before we started talking about it. It's just been more blatantly obvious lately." More truths. Knowing he was fully aware of it made me feel stupid and immature.

"Well, maybe that's true," I finally admitted. I was surprised Jacob didn't laugh in my face. _Maybe_ indeed.

"So you admit you are pushing me away?"

"I'm not doing it on purpose. That just seems to be the consequence." Jacob took a few steps toward me and closed the space between us to a few inches. I stared down at our feet.

"Come on Nessie, I know you. Something is going on, something big and you don't want to tell me. Am I wrong?" I didn't speak. I straightened my posture and took an exceptional observation of the room's flooring. It was dark walnut planks. Ántonia really was an exceptional craftsman. "I'm not wrong," Jacob said slowly. My silence had vindicated his suspicion. The last time I had kept something from him I was falling in love with someone else – probably why Jake wasn't so big on secrets. The realization horrified me. Jake thought I didn't want to sleep with him because I was falling for someone else, or at least falling out of love with him. I knew I couldn't leave him believing that no matter how difficult sharing the truth may have been. He ducked his head below me so he could be certain he had my attention. "Ness, when you were holding my hand before I felt how frightened you were – partially from Madeline, but that wasn't all of it. What are you afraid of? I told you I'm fine with waiting. I'm willing respect your decision, but you have to talk to me. I need to know what we're waiting for."

"I stopped," I said tersely. The sentence didn't make much sense without the context.

"Stopped…?" Jacob asked with justified confusion.

"I stopped growing. My hair, my fingernails, my body hasn't changed in over three years. I don't think it will accommodate any kind of change."

"Oh…oh I see…" The way Jacob was stammering made me squirm. It hurt to admit the dramatic limitations of our future. It doesn't matter what species you are. The feeling is universal. "Well, that….that's fine." My squirming ceased and now I was little perturbed.

"Fine? That's all you have to say? 'It's fine?'"

"Yeah. Of course." Now I was really bothered. He accused me of being dishonest and all he says is "fine?" He wasn't going to get away with saying only that. This had nothing to do with imprinting. He couldn't respond to what I needed because I didn't even know what it was I needed.

"Jake, you've honestly never thought about having a family?"

"Well, you know I'd be lying if I said I've never in my life thought about it. But you're all I want," he rationalized. I groaned internally. I wasn't interested in any romantic declarations at the moment.

"Don't say that! It's not true and that's okay. I don't blame you. I don't even care if you are angry at me for this…the way I am."

"How could I possibly be angry at you?"

"How can you not?"

"Nessie, I was_ supposed_ to end up with you. Everything that has happened in my life has been leading me to you." What did I just say about romantic declarations? And for God's sake don't talk about fate! If he wasn't going to be angry at the situation, I would be.

"And what kind of life have you ended up with? A dead end? You are an Alpha and the only grandson of Ephraim Black. You are supposed to have more than this."

"Nessie, none of that matters to me! It never did!"

"Maybe it matters to me." The conversation stalled. To be honest, we fought a lot. _A lot_, a lot. So, this situation in general wasn't unusual to either of us. Many of our fights were harmless, yet some of them were not. I remembered once when I was around fifteen I nailed shut my bedroom window and enlisted Uncle Emmett to keep watch at our front door. He of course took the position very seriously. I think the fight may have been over an outfit I had picked out myself which included the first piece of clothing I'd over worn which made evident the fact I had a chest. Jacob reacted like a parent and told me to cover up. I did not take it well. I wished all of our fights could only be like that. They were so inconsequential. Since we started dating our fights had entered very serious topics such as allowing me out of the house when I wanted or marriage or my involvement with the Council and how it endangered my life. They were the kind of fights that matter and change things. We were just stubborn and difficult and strong-willed people. All interesting qualities, or perhaps flaws, but it makes a relationship demanding when both people are so passionate and certain they're right all the time.

The fight we were having now wasn't a string of bickering where we would end up laughing and calling each other obstinate and impossible and not really mean it. This was one of the defining fights and I could see in Jacob's eyes it frightened him. It frightened me too. Yes, we had promised ourselves to one another, but now we had to actually decide if promising forever was the right thing for either of us.

"What are you saying?" he finally asked.

I took another breath and was glad we weren't yelling anymore, actually I had been the only one who was genuinely yelling. My voice had calmed now because it was painful to say the words. "I'm saying this is wrong. This is not where you should have ended up. Just because of the imprinting…you should have more than just me."

"Ness, what can I say to convince you otherwise?"

"I don't know, Jacob."

Jacob sighed loudly and rubbed his hands over his eyes. I was glad he wasn't going to continue with the romantic phrases. They wouldn't be comforting to me right now. He dropped his arms to his sides and attempted to be practical. "I would like to point out that we don't even know for certain we can't have a family," he said succinctly.

"I know that too. I know all we would have to do is ask Carlisle about it. For all I know, he may have already done tests just to satisfy his curiosity. I'm just afraid of facing it." Jacob took a moment to stare at me until I looked him in the eye. It may have been my undoing. He didn't look angry, just a little frustrated, and more importantly, sad. There was no other word that would have fit him better even if it had more syllables. He looked sad.

"Come here," he said calmly as he took my hand. He led us both to the bed and pulled me down with him. I rested my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat drum evenly and quickly like a metronome. One arm wrapped around me and stroked my shoulder; the other rested at my waist. "Let's just lay here and be sad about this together."

"You think that's healthy? To just wallow?"

"Probably not, but I think it's what we need right now. It's out of our control."

"I'm so sorry Jake…" I whispered as I clutched the fabric of his shirt. I desperately did not want to cry. If he decided he wanted a real future, one with a family and a life, something I could not give him, that would warrant real tears.

"Shhh…you have nothing to apologize for. I wouldn't change you for anything. I fell in love with _you_."

"This _can't_ be what you want," I whimpered into his chest. A stray tear had managed to escape. It _had_ been a long day and very long evening. He didn't try to disagree with me verbally. Instead, he held me tighter.


	10. You Can't Even Finish It

**Chapter X: You Can't Even Finish It**

I woke up the next morning with an emotional hangover. I actually needed to physically shake my head and rub my eyes a few times before things felt straightened out in my mind. The previous evening had been exhausting and needless to say it had been a mentally restless sleep. Jacob's sad face appeared in my dreams over and over again. The intensity of the dreams woke up several times during the night which only added to my exhaustion. Every time I awoke Jacob's warm arms were still clutched around me and for once the feel of them did not provide me any comfort. I kept thinking this may be the last time we sleep like this…it might be the last time he holds me like this.

Much of the previous evening it I wasn't prepared for even with all my stalling. Being unable to have a child wasn't the only thing I feared. I feared how Jacob would react. I feared I would lose him. Truthfully, the words had broken my heart just as much as it had his and I knew it would become even worse if he were to agree with them. I didn't want him to. I was certain the imprinting would never allow him to. It didn't mean any of it was right. It didn't mean any of it was fair. Jacob had already made so many sacrifices for my family…

We didn't actually have time to discuss any of it. Due to our strenuous evening we had overslept and the trial was starting when we entered the main room. Rye was already standing in the center of the room in front of the judges. I took a seat next to Alina who was had been sitting with Jane and Alec – protecting her no doubt. I was glad to see Alina and Rye hadn't run off together, but I couldn't say whether or not it was a good decision.

Alina smiled at me when Jake and I sat down, but her face was noticeably tense. My attention went to the judges when I heard Peyton speak. "Please state your name."

"Henry Rye, American, changed 1912."

"How did you come to meet Luca and Madeline?"

"I was in Strasburg under request of the Council to deliver an invitation to Luca's coven. They hadn't yet expressed allegiance to the Council."

"What did you observe about Luca and Madeline?"

"I understood they were very close."

"You understood they were mates?"

"Yes," Rye admitted. So far, so good, well, as good as it could be. The tricky part came next.

"What occurred after you met Madeline?"

"She expressed an interest in me to which I respectfully declined." I couldn't help stifling a laugh. I could just imagine Rye "respectfully" declining her advances. It was more likely she attacked him and he ran away as fast as his legs could carry him.

"You were not worried by this?"

"Not at the time."

"Because all female vampires express an interest in you?" Rye rolled his eyes and rubbed his hand across his mouth. He must have been growing tired of this topic. I think we all were.

"Look, everyone's reaction to my scent is a little different. Usually, it's harmless. Female vampires see me like some kind of icon and it gives them a thrill to be around me," Rye tried to explain without losing his temper. I had to admit giving his ability a positive connotation was a good tactic. He continued, "I never have used it for any purpose."

"And in the unusual cases?"

"It's like I become the prey. For most of my life as a vampire I've been outrunning those who want to kill me. Once my scent is gone and out of their system they eventually give up the chase. But Madeline is different. She thinks she's in love with me and she wants to destroy what might get in her way." Madeline smiled cheerfully when Rye mentioned her name. The girl was completely delusional at this point. She seemed to think every word Rye said to her was a phrase of endearment.

"For example?"

"My fiancée. Madeline tried to poison her." Fiancée? I glanced to Alina's left hand, but there wasn't a ring there. I never thought Alina for the marrying type. Maybe I was the only one who wasn't the marrying type. Rye turned and gave a nod to Alina. She didn't smile and Jacob and I leaned in protectively over her. I watched Madeline closely thinking such a confession would make her finally snap. Her sand-colored mary-jane heels tapped against the hardwood floor while she made scratch marks in her armrest with her uncomfortably sharp fingernails.

"Do you have any proof?"

"No, but you can all sense it can't you? You know something is wrong with her. I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm not in control!"

"He's lying!" Luca yelled from the seat behind Madeline.

"I'm not lying! Why would I steal your mate when I'm in love with someone else?"

"Then why don't you give her back?" Luca seethed furiously while he ground his teeth together.

Rye turned back toward the judges. "You have to believe me. I have nothing to do with why she's acting the way she is. Nor do I have a solution for it."

"Thank-you Rye. That is all we require. Are there any remaining questions?"

Without thinking and without waiting for anyone else to ask a question, I immediately stood up. "Your honors, I have a few questions I would like to ask."

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Miss Renesmee Cullen." Everyone nodded in acknowledgement. I was getting annoyed with all the formalities. Everyone already knew who I was.

"If it pleases the Council I would like to ask a few questions of Miss Alina Petrescu."

"She's just a human!" Luca muttered before anyone could say yes or no.

"She is a Gypsy, a member of the Council, and this case pertains to her directly."

"Go ahead," Peyton said evenly. I couldn't believe how little they were doing to help Rye out. They claimed to be his friends. Impartial jury or not I wasn't going to give up on him. Alina quietly stepped forward near the place Rye was standing. It took him a few seconds to move back to his chair. He was obviously uncomfortably removing himself from in between her and Madeline. Alina did not appear afraid, if anything she looked genuinely interested in what I had up my sleeve. Little did she know I was making this up as I went along.

"Tell us about your power Alina."

"I can sense vampires."  
"What about them?"

"I can tell vampires apart from humans. I can sense the severity of their desire for blood, I can see how many people they have killed, and I can perceive their general state of mind."

"What do you sense about Madeline?"

"_Please_…" I heard Luca groan from behind me. I should have known he would speak up. Can't they throw him in contempt of court or something? "These two are both in cahoots for the incubus. How are we to trust anything they say?"

"Luca, Miss Cullen is correct, Miss Petrescu is a member of the Council and her word is to be respected. That being said, be careful with your questioning Miss Cullen." I nodded in response to Peyton. I wasn't sure what he meant by his "be careful" comment. Was he warning me not to ask inappropriate questions, or was he just thinking of Alina's and my safety? I was too scared to turn around and look at Madeline.

"Alina? What do you see?"

"Her aura is grey. It usually means a vampire is thirsty, but it is controllable."

"Is there anything unusual about it?"

"I suppose not. Except..."

"Except?"

"It is difficult to see…I cannot sense what is passing through her mind. It is…cloudy, for lack of a better word."

"Why would that be?"

"I do not know. I have never experienced it."

"Do you think it is a result of Rye's influence?"

"No. I have seen vampires when they are attracted to Rye's scent. It has never affected my ability to see their aura; if anything, it makes it easier because they are experiencing such strong emotions." Luca made an exasperated sound giving volume to his disapproval with my questioning.

"Thank-you Alina. That is all. If it would please the judges I would now like to ask a few remaining questions of Madeline." I managed to get the words out clearly, but my heart was moving at a faster rate after I said them. I heard her distinctive shoes click against the floor, but I didn't look at her until she was directly in front of me – only an arm's length separated us. She was grinning maliciously. Her eyes practically popped from her skull. She had gotten up before the judges even gave a word on the matter. Being is such close proximity must have been appealing to her. This was the first time I noticed she was taller than me and given our closeness she could have easily taken a swipe at me with her sharp nails. Alina had already taken her seat next to Rye and Jacob. I was so caught up in Madeline's strange gaze I hadn't noticed her move. Jacob's eyes were darting back and forth between Madeline and me. He probably would have been more comfortable if he were to phase. It had been such a long time since he phased.

I tried to get my heart rate under control before I spoke. She eyed me up and down and let her tongue glide along the bottom of her top row of teeth. Although vampires don't actually have fangs, her sharp teeth were pretty damn close. "Madeline, do you remember your family? Your _human_ family?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked with a slight laugh in her voice. She was counting the seconds until I screwed something up; until I gave her a definite reason to pounce.

"Well, do you?"

"No," she said without emotion in her voice.

"Do you love Rye?"

"I would give my life for him," she said without emotion again.

"That's not what I asked. Do you _love_ him?"

"I think giving my life is indication enough."

"Did you love Luca?"

"What does that—?"

"Just answer the question." She took a breath as she mulled over my interruption. She didn't make a move so I figured it must not have been enough to send her lunging.

"I don't know."

"Are you sure?" Madeline took another pause. She was thinking harder about this question than any other before it. Her face was somewhat relaxed and appeared less crazed than I had ever seen her.

"I…I...thought something about him once, but I've forgotten it now."

"Because you love Rye?"

"Yes! I've only said that a thousand times now." The crazed look was back. I tried to get her back to her 3-second lapse of sanity.

"What did you love about Luca?"  
"I want_ Rye_."

"It's an objective question. Did you love his hair, or his eyes, or maybe the sound of his voice? Did he take you to exotic places or buy you expensive gifts?"

"I don't…know…" she stammered. Everyone in the room was leaning forward toward our conversation. It reminded me of the time Uncle Emmett was lighting fireworks on the Fourth of July and one of his big ones ominously did not go off. He leaned over it to check if it was a dud, even though he knew he shouldn't have, and bam! It blew up in his face. Now, at the time it was funny because he wasn't hurt in the least, but I didn't like being the one so close to the firecracker this time.

"Then why did you remain with him for fifty years?"  
"I don't…uh…I don't know."

"Stop this! You're just confusing her!" Luca cried out, breaking some of the tension. Madeline looked bewildered as she tried to straighten things out and come up with a more rational answer.

"I'm trying to make evident this woman is not of right mind. She doesn't recognize any feelings for Rye aside from instinctual attraction, nor does she seem to recall anything from her life. Alina testified her ability to sense her was limited. I think Madeline is being manipulated."

"By Rye?"

"No, Rye does not have control over his scent. He never has. Besides, no vampire has ever reacted to his scent this way. Even if part of it was due to Madeline's ability to be loyal, there's no reason she should have lost her memories. I think there is another source of confusion. If it would please the Council, I think my ability could provide some clarity."

"What do you intend to do?" the large and stoic merman asked me. This was the first time I had heard him speak since his arrival. He must have been truly fascinated.

"I can remove the boundaries of her mind. Ones created by her or by anyone else." Peyton looked around the room for any indication of disapproval. When he didn't find one he said favorably,

"Proceed."


	11. Don't Touch Me I'm a Real Live Wire

**Chapter XI: Don't Touch me I'm a Real Live Wire **

"Madeline…don't be afraid."

"Don't touch me…" Madeline hissed at me as I tried to approach her. Her hands had clenched into the form of claws. I'm sure she would have struck if touching her wasn't what I wanted in the first place. My stupid power only worked through physical connections. Sometimes it was a good thing, but not at this moment.

"It won't hurt, you'll even feel better."

"I said, don't touch me!" she hissed again. I wasn't sure how to convince her. There was now fear tied into the strain in her eyes. She had gladly lived in ignorance before because she was convinced Rye was in love with her. If I were to reveal what was clouding her mind she would have to accept the fact it just wasn't so. I understood her fear in discovering the truth. I was suffering through the same situation. What I wouldn't give to extend my ignorance a little longer.

Rye wasn't as patient as me. He stood up and pleaded with Madeline to get her attention. "Madeline, let her, please. Trust me." Her eyes shot over to Rye and she looked heart-broken. She knew by freeing her mind she might lose him. Oh, god, we had too much in common.

"Don't listen to them!" Luca fumed.

"Madeline…" I said soothingly. I thought back to the way Jacob had spoken to me during my hysterics last night. "Please, trust us. We want to help you." Madeline was practically shaking with fear and anger and confusion. Reluctantly, she swallowed and jutted her hand out into the space between us. I moved slowly as to not frighten her more and clasped onto the tips of her fingers.

There had only been a few minds I had used this ability on. Ántonia was the first, then Aro. Since then I'd only done it once in demonstration to my father. He didn't really enjoy it, then again I didn't enjoy it much myself. Secrets were left secret for a reason. Despite my lack of practice, it was comforting to let my mind relax and feel the freedom of it. Madeline was breathing heavily and wasn't having the euphoric experience I was.

At first, all I saw was gray. Similar to what Alina had described. Everything was blocked. The barriers were harder to unlock then Ántonia's or Aro's had been. This validated my suspicion. Madeline's mind had been corrupted from an outside source. Slowly, the gray began to fade away, but things weren't much clearer. Her memories were unlike a normal vampire's. Vampires see things photographically and with exact detail whereas her memories were fuzzy and disjointed. Everything was out of order and hard to decode. No wonder Madeline couldn't remember much of anything.

Madeline squeezed my hand as she gasped. Suddenly I was being led toward something she desired to see. Vaguely, I could sense it was Luca. I couldn't tell the time period, but it had to have been one of the first times she met Luca because there was a feeling of nervousness attached with the memory. It wasn't a romantic kind of nervousness either, like when you have butterflies in your stomach. It was a sick and terrified kind of nervousness. Why she would feel that way about her mate? I didn't understand.

I was pulled away to another memory which was still blurry, but more focused than the last. This one was of Luca as well and the nervous ache in my stomach was gone. My emotions were split between two things: one was a pull towards Luca so intense it was impossible to resist; the other was an empty, hopeless sting. There was definitely not an inkling of love. There wasn't one anywhere in this menagerie of thoughts.

Madeline gripped my hand even tighter and her sharp nails felt like they were puncturing my skin. She wanted to see more. I saw Luca again, slightly clearer still. He seemed to be infused in all her memories. This time they were sitting in a room with a few other vampires. I didn't recognize any of them except for two I knew a couple versions of. In the room with Luca and Madeline were the evil versions of Jane and Alec. They were in their robes again, looking as menacing and flat-out scary as they ever did. I was surprised when I heard Jane speak from within the memory. It was a voice I hated to be reminded of.

"_You would be an excellent asset to our family, Luca. We know Aro would appreciate your allegiance."_

"_Yes, and what would be in it for me exactly?"_

"_Protection, naturally." _

"_I do fine on my own."_

"_For now. Perhaps Madeline would like to join us."_

I heard the memory hiss and I recognized the sound. I had heard it only moments ago.

_"Fine. We can wait. I am so curious to see how my power would do with you around, Luca. I see you have this one wrapped around you."_

Madeline's memory was confused by Jane's statement and I was as well. This was something critical Madeline was showing me, something she had never made sense of.

Before I could explore any further Madeline tore her hand away and it flew to her forehead. She instantly crumpled to the floor. Her sharp nails were now creating indentations on her temple, but that didn't seem to be of any concern. She was panting furiously and her eyes were desperately searching for something out of her reach. I wanted to comfort her because I realized the memories were fading away without my power to pull back the grey curtain.

"What did you see?" I heard one of the judges yell out to me. I had forgotten this whole experience was on display.

"I couldn't see much of anything. It's more what I felt."

"Well…?" This time it was Rye urging me on.

"It's not her fault. At least, I don't think so. I saw her with Luca and she definitely did not see him as a mate. She was frightened of him. Yet for some reason she was pulled toward him. Once her power was fixated on him her memories become grayed out. It was like she had no free will. Then I saw them with…" I had to pause. Jane and Alec weren't even aware they were had been a part of the Volturi yet. There hadn't really been a need to tell them. "They were with the Volturi. They were trying to convince Luca to join because he could do something with their powers. Can you impede someone's free will?" I asked of Luca. His mouth was arranged in a tight line.

"No, that's not it." I heard Alina say bravely. She couldn't pinpoint an ability directly, but she would know if that was his intention.

"He intensifies abilities," Madeline said in a tone of voice I had never heard from her. It wasn't sickeningly sweet and it wasn't bitter and angry, it was honest and clear. This must have been what her true voice was.

"How does it work?" one of the judges asked of Madeline. Madeline just shook her head in confusion and buried it into her hands. Stating anything more might be a betrayal of her loyalty to him. I finally understood.

"Madeline has absolute loyalty, but it should be reserved for those she chooses. She despised Luca when she met him, but he recognized her ability and wanted to use her. So he intensified her loyalty to a point where she no longer had the will to choose. It's caused some kind of weird, unbreakable tunnel vision. It's blocked everything, her memories, and her decisions." I looked to Madeline for some validation of my claim. She didn't offer anything very assuring. Her hands were shaking as they moved back and forth across her forehead, down her face, and to the base of her neck. She may not have understood what was happening either.

"But why go after me?" Rye asked for clarification.

"You were right, Rye. Your scent did get mixed up with her ability which only happened because Luca intensified it so much. But he hasn't released his hold on her because if he does she'll get her memories back and she'll remember how much she hates him."

"Is this true Luca?!" Peyton yelled at Luca in a voice which echoed up to the ceiling. I had never heard Peyton yell so powerfully.

"He stole her from me!" Luca screamed back. Before another word could be said Jacob was at my side. The hairs on his arms were standing up and I took his hand. Phasing would be a bad idea no matter how much he wanted to. I noticed everyone in the room was standing now. Poised and ready for a fight? No…that wasn't how the Council worked. Yet, they weren't going to stand down and let one of their own be hurt. Luca had to calm down or he would get himself killed.

"You have stolen her free will. This situation is by your own hand. You will remove your bind from Madeline immediately and await a punishment from us."

"NO!!" Luca's voice boomed through the entire space. For a man on the smaller side I never would have thought him capable. "You think I am going to listen to you soft animal-sucking sorry excuses for vampires? Or accept punishment from damn mermaids and wolves? What happened to all of you?! We are supposed to be something to be feared! You all give value to human life and find ways to continually weaken our kind! And YOU!" he said in the direction of Rye. Rye stepped boldly in front of Alina. He wasn't about to run now. "You destroyed my life!" Luca moved faster than I expected, but my vampire eyes made things appear like they were occurring in real time. He lunged for his target but Rye was more than ready for him. However, he was unprepared, as were we all, for a different force which came at him. Madeline threw herself between Rye and Luca before Luca even reached him. This shouldn't have been a surprise given Madeline had described her passion for Rye over and over again. Our discovery of its illegitimacy must have distracted us all. Nevertheless, the obsession was still there.

In the end this is how things were. Jacob was beside me as I was his first priority of protection. Rye had been standing in front of Alina, but Madeline in a rush of passion, pushed Rye out of the way of the danger which was about to attack him. Leaving the one person in the room that needed protection, unprotected.


	12. We Are Vain and We Are Blind

**Chapter XII: We Are Vain and We Are Blind  
**

It's amazing how very alive a vampire's eyes can be. It's arguable whether or not vampires actually are dead, but they're definitely not alive in the same way they were while they were human. Whichever side of the argument you fell on there was no denying a vampire's eyes are remarkably expressive. They can invoke fear or infatuation, they can be filled with pain or happiness, and they reflect the very essence of a vampire's life force.

Conversely, the eyes can tell you how very un-alive a vampire is. In a room full of vampires, mer-people, and werewolves, Luca was laying in the center of the room on his back, his eyes dark, blank, and lifeless. A small trail of blood lined his cheek and his mouth hung slightly open. Beside him, gasping for air and experiencing her very last breaths of life, was Alina. The fabric above her collar bone ripped away and the fabric remaining was stained with blood. Only a few inches above her heart was the notch of a perfect set of teeth marks.

"No, no, no, no, no…" These were the only words heard throughout the space. The room was emptier now than it had been only seconds ago. Several of the vampires did not have the self-control to be around human blood and had been forced to leave. Even those who could stand the temptation had left to make sure no one was enticed to return.

Tani and the former Volturi guards were surrounding Madeline who was holding herself in a fetal position against a bookcase. Since Luca was dead now, his hold over her had finally broken and it must have been overwhelming to have her mind back. She would be seeing things she hadn't seen in fifty years. It had been difficult for me to navigate through her clouded consciousness.

"Please…you're fine…don't…god no…" The devastated whispers were repeating themselves over and over again by Rye. His hands ran from Alina's face, to the wound on her chest, to her hands which clenched his shirt desperately. She couldn't form the words to beg for relief, or death, or both. She couldn't even manage to scream. Instead, a disconcerting choking sound erupted from her tiny body attempting to express the fire which was moving through her veins. Rye tried to still her. He promised it would be over soon. He shouted in frantic anger at Jacob and me for a way to help.

There was no way to help…as much as it broke my heart to admit. I couldn't say aloud to him. Even as I watched my friend die…

"Rye, we should get her out of here," Jacob whispered to him. I was amazed Jacob had managed to find his voice. I didn't know how to speak. Even my body felt disconnected from my head. It didn't seem like Rye was listening to Jacob, probably because he wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear. Jacob stepped forward, and with more strength that I possessed at the moment, he picked up Alina while she writhed in his arms and gently carried her out of the room.


	13. When I Have Nothng to Say

**Chapter XIII: When I Have Nothing to Say  
**

I had quite a few memories associated with the room I was currently standing in. This was where I stayed during my very first trip to this castle, where I dreamed about the archaic Russian poetry I had just translated, and where the beginnings of a new romance had been cultivated. It was now to be the source of a different memory. This was where my very dear friend would spend the last moments of her human life.

Alina was tousling around violently on the white linens of the bed. Her body tensed unnaturally as she moaned through the pain. She couldn't form sentences well, just muttered, "stop…stop," over and over again. Rye was on his knees with his elbows against the mattress trying to hold her hand and soothe her, but it did not seem to bring her any comfort. Jacob stood against the wall awkwardly. He only stayed to give strength to me because presently I did not feel an ounce of strength within me at all.

It had only been about twenty minutes since the disastrous scene in the court room and now witnessing Alina's pain made the time pass by monstrously slow. "Make it stop…please," Rye begged, echoing Alina's cries.

"I can't," I said in a whisper. I covered my mouth and took in a breath through my nose to hold off my own tears.

"Your mother was…"

I removed my hand from my mouth. "My mother wasn't a Gypsy." He was referencing the story of when my mother was bitten by a vampire she was saved when my father sucked the venom out. Alina's blood was poisonous to vampires however and I knew from my experience with Gypsy toxin I wasn't immune to it either. Jacob couldn't have helped because he would have been poisoned by the venom. There was nothing any of us could do but sit and wait through the three days of painful transformation.

"She's in so much pain."

"I know," I mumbled. I hated the words which fell from my mouth. They offered nothing. I turned to Jacob who looked over at me sympathetically. His biggest concern was my comfort, but that was my very last concern right now. I forgave him for this because I knew it was out of his control.

"Why did you have to do this?" My head snapped back to Rye and I was surprised he was looking directly at me. His words had been intended for me, but I didn't understand them.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Why did you have to do that to Madeline? If you had just left it alone…" If I had left it alone…Luca wouldn't have been exposed, but Alina would be alive. Her heart would still be beating normally and her lungs would still be working with her instead of against her. She would still be the beautiful person we all loved. My mouth fell open and my voice gave out. I wanted to disintegrate into the floor.

"Hold off Rye! Nessie was doing her best to help you, to help both of you." Jacob took a step forward so he was beside me. Rye's anger was growing and he stood up as well.

"If you hadn't used your stupid power on Madeline Luca never would have attacked me."

"Yeah, and what kind of verdict could you have expected?"

"She'd still be alive!" Rye snarled back at Jacob.

"Jacob, stop," I said quietly. I didn't need to be defended. I agreed with Rye anyway. "I'm so sorry Rye," I pleaded, "I didn't mean for this to happen…I wanted…"

"Just go," Rye begged. He kneeled at the bed again and ran his cool hand over her sweat-covered forehead. She pulled back slightly from his touch, grasped the sheets with her hands and tore them as she moved sporadically. Rye caught every one of her jerky movements and clasped her hands only to have her jolt away again and again.

I could tell Jacob wanted to defend me further, it was his natural response, but I didn't want to fight. I turned away and left the room quickly, Jacob only a second behind me.

The painting of a young woman, hair and features almost exactly like Alina's, still hung in its place across from the bed. The eyes were dark and knowing. I wondered if Alina had seen this image as a prediction of her own future.


	14. Ce que j'ai fait, ce soirlà

**Chapter XIV: Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là Réalisant mon espoir**

"God, I can't stand it anymore," Jacob said, referencing the screaming.

It had been a day since the trial which ended in the vampirism of Alina Petrescu. Her screams would peter out from time to time, but I believed during these quiet moments she was just building up strength because when she would start screaming again it would be with even greater vengeance than it had been previously. You could hear her from nearly every location of the castle.

Jacob and I were currently in the main sitting room, the scene of the attack, and the room nearest to Alina's. As painful as it was to hear the screaming, it felt wrong to be away from her.

"I know Jake," I said carelessly. Words didn't mean much at the moment. Neither of us had seen Alina since yesterday. Rye didn't want anyone near her – not if they had no means to save her…and sorrowfully there were none.

"How can you be so damn calm? Your friend is dying!"

"She's not dying." My voice still managed to stay level. This infuriated Jacob.

"She's not going to be alive!"

"I know she's not alive, but she's not dead. I have to believe that. I feel so damn guilty."

"Why?"

"It's my fault Luca was exposed. He never would have attacked Rye if I hadn't used my power on Madeline."

Jacob sighed. His rage left him as he realized he would now be needed to comfort me. The imprinting made it impossible for him to do otherwise…it's unfair how much he loved me. He sat down on the floor next to me—our shoulders touched.

"You had to. You were right. Madeline wasn't of her own mind."

"Yes, and instead of helping Rye I managed to destroy the life of his one true love."

"You can't listen to Rye right now. He's so distraught. He doesn't know what he's saying."

"He's right."

"He's not right," Jacob responded instantly.

"We'll just have to disagree then."

The castle was silent at the moment. Alina must have tired herself out from the screaming. That didn't mean the pain stopped. Jacob's voice filled the empty air.

"It's kind-of not fair that she can even become a vampire. I mean, venom would just poison me. I could never become my own natural enemy. Why should she have to?"

"The universe's idea of a sick joke."

Then Jacob asked something I never thought he would ever ask. "Do you ever wish I could be a vampire?"

I looked over at him to see if he was being serious. He was.

"Do you ever wish I could be human?" It seemed like the appropriate response.

"You are…"  
"I'm not. My heart beats but I'm not human, we both know that."

"I never wanted you to be completely human. I just think of Sam and Emily…if I ever…you could protect yourself from me."

"You would never hurt me," I said assuredly. Jacob wasn't nearly as sure about it.

"Sam imprinted on Emily, but he still hurt her. Believe me, I fear doing the same all the time. Everyone in my pack does."

I had never even thought of what he was saying. Jacob's love was so absolute. Hurting me that way never seemed plausible, but it wasn't impossible.

"I'm sure Rye feared hurting Alina. Now he won't be able to anymore."

"And she can't hurt him."

"The universe is something, isn't it?"

The room continued to wait in eerie silence. When I strained my senses to listen I could hear barely hear Rye's labored whispers. Mostly, he was apologizing over and over and over again. It's was the same thing Sam had done for Emily. It was the same thing my father had done for my mother. It's what I had said to Jake the night before last. Why did our kind have to suffer so much in order to find love?

"Ness, even if we can't have the future I imagined at one point in my life, I still wouldn't want you any different." His statement didn't have anything to do with Rye and Alina. It felt like it had been an eternity since our fight.

"I never wanted you to be a vampire. You're Jacob…my Jacob…my wolf…I can't imagine you any other way."

"Do you think she wanted this?" He was back to Alina again. He was a better mental multi-tasker than I was sometimes.

"I think she thought it might be inevitable. It didn't matter if she wanted it. She didn't know how it would happen, she didn't know why, but it was like there was no other future."

"Well, she didn't have much of a chance with the lifestyle she was living." Jacob cleared his throat and followed up quickly, "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound as insensitive as it did."

"It's fine. She probably would have agreed with you." That I knew to be true. There was no one more aware of the danger of associating with vampires than Alina. She had done so much to protect herself and there was so much about her which made her untouchable, but it wasn't enough.

A different sound was heard in the room. It was the tapping of high-heeled shoes. Madeline had walked in at a human-pace. Her eyes were a warm gold and the strain was completely gone. Everything about her presence was softened, even down to her fingernails. I still had marks in my hand from where she had indented my skin with them. Jacob and I stood up when she approached.

"Hi Madeline, how are you feeling?"

"A little overwhelmed. I haven't had my own thoughts in half a century. I'm beginning to remember the way I used to be."

"I'm glad."

"I'm leaving. I thought I should leave before she wakes up."

"Probably a good idea. Where will you go?"

"I think I'll go back home – or, back to where I grew up. I'm hoping it will bring back some human memories."

"Good luck with that," Jacob said. I wanted to elbow him, but I refrained.

"I needed to thank you before I left. I can't explain how much I appreciate what you did for me. You freed me; you freed my mind, my soul."

"Don't mention it." I didn't want to be thanked for saving one life and it doing so compromising another.

"Tell them I'm sorry. I would say I didn't mean to cause them pain, yet at the same time I did."

"It wasn't you, it was Luca. Alina understood that."

"I don't think Rye will. Again, thank-you. And I promise my allegiance to you, and to the Council."

"Thank-you Madeline." She turned and headed in the direction of the exit. Once the last sound of her shoes faded away Jacob leaned over and whispered to me,

"Are we sure we want that?"

"Yes, Jacob. We do."


	15. What She Said That Night

**Chapter XV: What She Said That Night  
**

Although I knew I was the last person he wanted to see, I couldn't abandon either of my friends in their greatest hour of need, even if one of them hated me.

It had been two days since Alina had been bitten and no one had gone in her room since Rye kicked us out. Somehow I had convinced Jacob to allow me to sit with Rye alone. I waited till the screaming subsided, which there were longer occurrences of compared to the previous day, and stepped into the room without knocking.

Rye was collapsed on the floor. His hand was around Alina's. She was clenching his hand with so much intensity it had to have been hurting him. Her color had almost completely faded away and she was breathing quickly and erratically.

Rye lifted his head up when I entered the room. He looked like he had been through hell and might still be there.

"Rye, how are you?" I asked genuinely.

"She's in so much pain." His answer was indication enough. How he was feeling was not of remote interest to him now.

"Everyone is gone now, all but the Council members and Jens. He and Marthe seem to have grown closer these past few days." Why I was uttering this pointless small talk I had no idea. Rye didn't seem to be listening anyway. "Rye, if I could change this…" I began. Rye interrupted me,

"Don't…there's no changing this. I know. I just didn't want…" Rye's voice withered away with guilt. "I knew being with her was wrong from the very beginning. If I only had the will to end it…she wouldn't be…" Apparently Rye had forgotten he was angry with me. How self-centered was I to think he had even given me another thought?

"Alina loves you. She made her choice and she was glad she did it. You brought her so much happiness, and you know what, you're going to continue to bring her that happiness for…well, forever." As pleased as I'm sure Rye was to imagine an eternity with the love of his life, he wasn't at the right stage of grief yet to allow himself to accept it.

"I've taken away so much from her. Her family, her purpose, her very humanity…god, I'm a monster." His head dropped into one of his hands but he didn't stop touching her.

"She won't be angry with you. She understood the risks of being with a vampire, of being a part of the vampire world."

"I couldn't even protect her when she needed me! She'll hate me."

"We all should have been protecting her better that day, but we didn't. We just have to believe it happened for a reason. The universe has to dole out some good to go with the bad." It had to…

"It's not right."

Silently, I agreed with him. Everything about my relationship with Jacob was unfair. It was unfair he was subject to imprinting. It was unfair he loved me so selflessly when I was able to be selfish with him. I repeatedly took things away from him. There was no such thing as a perfect love between creatures of our kind. There was always a catch. There was always a loss. And the loss of life seemed to be a pattern that surfaced over and over again.

"I hope she'll forgive us," I said, sharing in Rye's sorrow. I needed to grieve as well. I knelt on the other side of the bed and took Alina's free hand. I could tell her strength was already increasing. Despite all my optimism, I still felt responsible and I couldn't let Rye suffer through this alone.

"Will she remember me?" Rye asked quietly. It was a valid question. Vampires didn't remember human memories very well after the transformation. That had to be intentional. It would be difficult to be willing to bite a human if you had strong memories of love and affection for them.

"I'll make sure." I began releasing my memories of Rye and Alina into her mind. Letting her see from an objective perspective how recognizable their love for one another was. Her breath slowed by the tiniest increment. If it was possible to bring comfort during this experience I hoped I had done so.


	16. Making My Hope Come True

**Chapter XVI: Making My Hope Come True  
**

Alina was beautiful. She had always been beautiful. Now, in all honesty, she was the most beautiful corpse I'd ever seen. Her color was gone and had been replaced with white porcelain. Any stray hair which may have existed in her long curls was now perfectly contained in smooth ringlets. Her fingernails were all the same length, her eyelashes looked long and dark without mascara, and every scar or blemish on her including the crescent shaped one on her chest had been healed as though it never existed. We dressed her in white as it was the color she had been wearing the first time all three of us saw her. No one could have embodied Snow White so perfectly.

It was the third day of her transformation from human to vampire and we were all a little on edge – anxious for the end of this hellish experience to come. Her screams had ended which would have been comforting except now she was no longer breathing. We could still hear her heart beat only now it was so slow it was like she'd gone into hibernation. It would be difficult to tell when she had reached the last one. We'd have to wait for her to tell us when that was.

The beauty she would have as a vampire was astounding, but even as a human it wasn't only her olive skin or her raven-black hair which defined her beauty. It came from deep within. The goodness inside her was pure and honest to the very core of her being. Yes, she was tough and even crass at times, but brave and entirely self-sacrificing. This is what we put our hope in.

"Do you think she'll be like Bella?" Jacob asked.

Rye, Jacob, and I had been sitting with Alina for several hours now awaiting the end of Snow White's slumber.

"What do you mean?" Rye asked. He had met my mother before, but I don't think he ever learned of her human to vampire experience. I'd spare him the more gory details – that is, the details which involved me.

"My mother was prepared to be a vampire, so she didn't experience the rage of a typical newborn."

"You mean, she'll wake up and be fine? Just like she was before?"

"I can't say for sure. I don't know if Alina was fully prepared or not."

"But it's possible?"

"Yes…" I said tentatively. There wasn't any way of knowing for certain. I hoped when I poured my thoughts into her it would help in the transformation as well, but only time would tell. "Rye, there's something you should know. Her thirst will be different, she'll only feed every ten years, but she won't be able to live on animal blood."

"What?"

I hated to give Rye bad news when I had just given him something to hope for, but he needed to know everything. "It's part of being a Gypsy. That's how it was for Sasha. He had to take lives to survive."

"I won't let her."

"Rye…"

"I'll do it." It was the most beautiful and twisted gesture I'd ever heard of. Even if it was engrained in her nature Rye wasn't going to allow Alina to do something he knew was not in her heart.

"We might be able to avoid it. We'll have to wait and see. I just wanted you to be prepared."

"Thanks, Nessie. How much longer?"

I looked to Jacob. Coincidentally, he was the only one who had ever witnessed a transformation. He just shrugged his shoulders. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him.

"I think it will be soon," I said vaguely.

Rye sighed again and took his usual place at the side of her bed. He hadn't left that spot in three days and his eyes were dark and deprived. Then again, he'd rather starve himself then leave the room.

Alina had been still for a very long time. The pauses between her heartbeats grew longer and longer until I realized I hadn't been listening for them for quite some time. I picked myself up from the floor and took a few steps toward Alina. Rye looked up at me anxiously, thinking I knew something he didn't. Truly, I did not, and although she laid there without a twitch, something definitely smelled different. I glanced over at Jacob; he had noticed it as well. His nose was scrunched up and he was blowing air from it in an attempt to expel the scent from his sinuses. The scent was floral and made me think of lilacs. As I absorbed the scent I approached Alina so I was beside her as well. Her eyes were still closed and nothing appeared to have changed.

"Alina?" I whispered quietly, "Alina, can you hear me?" I took her hand gently and released a brief thought to her. It was the faces of Jacob, Rye, and I the first time the four of us sat together in this very castle. I internally laughed to myself as I remembered Rye pinned up against a wall of books looking petrified of the tiny girl. "Alina, it's us. We're here."

The space between her eyebrows wrinkled as she opened her eyes. It was like it was the first time she'd ever done it, and in a way, it was. I didn't know the difference between human sight and vampire sight but I've been told one is incredibly unlike the other.

"Alina…?" Rye said slowly.

Her eyes darted between the two of us and then to Jacob when he came closer for a better look. Even though she hadn't yet identified any of us Rye continued to speak to her in awe.

"Your eyes…they're _green_. It's incredible. You're still _you_…"

Alina pulled herself forward and sat up making the three of us jump back. Our reaction didn't make much sense. As I had predicted, she moved slowly. She was no different than she had been before. She blinked several times as she observed us.

"How do you feel? Are you thirsty? We can leave right now."

"No…." she said softly and her hand flew to cover her mouth. She had been surprised by the sound of her own voice. It was more melodic than it had been before. I could tell even from the single syllable she uttered. We stood perfectly still as she let her hand come away from her mouth and she spoke again. "No…I don't feel thirsty…or hungry…or anything really."

"Her blood is still circulating through her. She won't be thirsty for another ten years."

Rye's face was a combination of relief and pure joy. He reached for her hand and I was afraid she might pull away, but then again, he was much too fast for her.

"Do you remember me?"

At a pace I knew Rye would never get used to, she moved a little closer to him. She lifted her hand up to his face and let her fingers glide over his skin, his lips, his hairline, as if she were blind and trying to identify someone by touch. She took a breath and closed her eyes as she inhaled. This was the first time she would be experiencing Rye's scent the same way the rest of us did. I prayed she would not have my particular response. I didn't understand the look on her face when she opened her eyes. It wasn't a look of infatuation or obsession, instead, she appeared puzzled and maybe a little…disappointed?

"Is _that_ what all the fuss was about?" she asked with some annoyance. All three of us let out a reassured laugh. It was still her. It was still Alina.


	17. I Hurl Myself Toward Glory

**Chapter XVII: I Hurl Myself Toward Glory  
**

The following days around the castle were uncommonly… cheery. We were free of sorrow, guilt, stress, anxiousness, and crazy-obsessive vampires. It was wonderful to have a break.

Even as a newborn, Alina was a perfect vampire. Well, as perfect as a Gypsy turned vampire could be. Her thirst was basically nonexistent which gave her flawless self-control. We spent the daylight hours running or walking through the forest with Alina while she explored her new vampire abilities. While she wasn't as fast as the rest of us, she was stronger and was exceedingly enjoying winning the arm wrestling matches. She wouldn't be in need of hunting skills any time soon and her slowness pretty much deflated any chance of her ever really developing any. Nonetheless, Rye and Jacob were happy to educate her. They would run miles away and hide while she would try and follow the trail they left behind. Turns out, she wasn't very good at it.

"Have we not had enough yet?" Alina asked with some exasperation. We had been at this game all day.

"Alina, you've lost three games out of five," Rye said faking, some concern. He knew it didn't matter if she was good at it; he was just enjoying the game.

"Well, you do not play hide and seek correctly anyway. You are supposed to stay in one hiding spot."

"You take too long to find me! I get impatient."

"Come on Alina, one more game," Jacob begged, impatient as well. Would these two every stop being kids?

Alina sighed overdramatically and conceded, "Fine. Go run."

"Cool! Ness, you coming?" Jacob asked me. Rye had already taken off at the word "go."

"No, I think I'll walk with Alina for a while."

"Okay, no cheating," he warned me. We were both malicious cheaters when we had the chance so I just gave him a coy look as if to say, "Who? Me?" He winked back and turned to run in a different direction through the dense and endless forest.

I was glad to have a moment alone with Alina. The first few days Rye wouldn't allow her to leave her room let alone leave her side. He was afraid she might suddenly become what a newborn was supposed to be and have a crazed lust for blood. However, Alina's self-control was resilient, her personality was well-preserved, and she wasn't about to tolerate Rye's over-protectiveness. She never had in the first place. That was why it was only two days after her transformation that Alina was walking around the castle, business as usual.

We walked through the foliage at a human pace; not trying to find the boys who had run away and hidden like a pair of nine-year-olds. At first we were quiet, but I couldn't resist asking the questions which had been plaguing my mind for days. I started off slow.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"I feel wonderful," she said succinctly, as if it should have been obvious to me.

"You look wonderful."

"Thank-you Nessie. That is probably the most difficult part to accept. I look in the mirror and my hair is already perfectly curled and I do not need a bit of make-up. It is going to save me eons of time," Alina said in a sarcastic tone, smiling. I smiled back. It was a silly thing to compliment her on; not because it wasn't true, because I knew she cared very little about her appearance, she never had.

"What exactly has Rye thought about it?" I turned the conversation to something more serious. Rye appeared very happy right now, but he was up and down through this whole experience. I didn't know what his final verdict on the situation was.

"Well, first he was just so happy. Then he was very, _very _happy," Alina said with a lecherous tone. I cringed. These two were like my family and they were just as bad about innuendoes as my actual family.

"Alina, please spare me."

Alina laughed to herself momentarily. Then the tone of her melodic voice became quieter and more somber.

"We talked about what happened a little. I believe he is hiding a few things from me. What happened while I was…indisposed?"

They hadn't discussed this? Damn it, I wanted to be the one asking the questions for once.

"He was upset, we all were, but Rye the most of course. He blamed himself."

"I fear he always will."

"Are you upset?"

"No…I am happy. I always knew this was a possibility. There were times I may have even wanted this. It was no one's fault, no one is to blame. Technically, it was an accident. I could never imagine deliberately taking someone's life for such a selfish reason as to give myself immortality. Everything happened in the best way I could have imagined it." Alina's future had originally rested on her desire not to be the reason for another vampire's demise. Although she did end up doing so, there was no denying it was accidental. Rye had been Luca's intended target. There was no reason to dwell on how she was changed anymore because it was obvious it was all supposed to happen.

"Do you remember much?" I asked slowly. We had silently agreed not to dwell on the guilt anymore, but we hadn't said whether or not she could stand to dwell on the changing experience itself yet. I was too curious for my own good.

"Yes and no. Things are hazy, but I can recall the pain."

"Did you understand what was happening?"

"Sometimes I would have moments of lucidity, but they would get lost amongst my desire to die."

"Rye stayed with you the entire time. He tortured himself. I wasn't sure if he was going to make it."

Alina didn't smile even though I intended the statement to make her feel loved. I supposed no matter what the situation, hearing Rye was in any pain would not make her happy.

"There is a moment I do remember more clearly. As I was lying there, I don't know for how long, I felt every muscle in my body simultaneously expand and burn like it was on fire. I could not stop my body from tensing against the pain which only worsened it." This must have been when Alina was squeezing Rye's hand so hard she could have broken it. "Then somehow, somewhere in the deep reaches of my mind I saw myself and Rye. It was a familiar memory, but it was not mine. Was it you?"

"Yes. I hoped it would help heal your mind. Keep you from forgetting us."

"It was such a cooling relief to be distracted from the pain. It is almost impossible to have another thought other than urge to die, but thinking of Rye, and you and Jacob, remembering I would eventually have that happiness again…it was like oxygen to my failing lungs. I cannot describe how much I appreciate what you did."

"I'm so glad it worked. I'm so glad you're here and safe." Alina smiled gently, in a way that let me know the same. God or the universe or whatever always seemed to have a greater hand in my life than I was prepared for. Perhaps I would have to leave my trust in fate when it came to Jacob from now on. There was so much left out of my control.

"I suppose we should try and find those two idiots," I said less seriously as I changed the topic.

"Oh, no worries. I know precisely where they are."

"What?"  
"Rye is 8.6 miles southeast. Jacob is 5.2 miles due south."

"How do you know that?"

"You know how you said Sasha's ability changed?" I hadn't forgotten to ask about that, I just figured a change in powers wouldn't have occurred so quickly. It would be pointless to be able to identify vampires by sight if you _were_ a vampire. Such a distinction is very easy to make as a vampire. "Before I could only identify a vampire; now, I can tell you where they are – like looking a map. It's more difficult the further away one is and I can only sense those I have had interactions with. Rye is the easiest to find."

"That is not fair." It was my only petulant response.

"What?"Alina responded in genuine surprise.

"Gypsies get all the cool abilities."

"You are your own unique species."

"Big deal. You can find vampires like a GPS, your sister can hear things miles away, and your brother moves things with his flipping mind! What can your other two brothers do?"

Alina ran her hand along a low tree branch feigning distraction.

"Oh…nothing amazing. One can sense danger coming, nothing specific, he just gets a general sensation something is about to go wrong. And the other can read and retain knowledge extremely fast. He thinks he got the weakest of abilities." Alina laughed and I just pouted. The family could form a Justice League for god's sake.

"See…all the cool powers." My pouting stopped the moment I remembered something I could use to tease her with. "Oh, I didn't get a chance to ask you, you're _engaged_?" The look on her face was priceless and not a bit what I anticipated. She was honestly confused. Her forehead wrinkled as she tried to make sense of the question. This human memory must have been very fuzzy.

"What? I am…what?"

"Engaged? You don't remember?"

Another moment passed and finally the right synapse lit up. "_Ohhhh_…I forgot. I did agree to that did I not?"

"Yeah…Rye hasn't mentioned it?"

"No. I hope I did not hurt his feelings."

"Rye's been too happy about other things. I'm sure he didn't want to overwhelm you."

"Overwhelm me is right. What was I thinking? Married? I am only 18."

"I think you were in a very different mindset at the time. Can I be a bridesmaid?"

"Nessie!" Alina shouted like I'd said a dirty word.

"Please, my aunt Alice would be happy to choose the dresses!" I yelled as she had begun running as fast as she could in the direction of one of the hiders.


	18. I Can't Seem to Face Up to the Facts

**Chapter XVIII: I Can't Seem to Face up to the Facts**

The time came for us to return home again; leaving things very different from when we'd arrived. It was hard to decide whether the whole situation could be deemed a success or a failure, but Rye had survived, Madeline was free, and Alina would be with the love of her life forever – all good things. Luca probably would have disagreed, but such is a danger of the vampire lifestyle. You can never be a hundred percent sure of anything…actually that is a danger of any form of life.

We slept through most of the plane rides and talked very little even when we were awake. It wasn't the silent treatment this time though. It was more like we were preparing ourselves mentally and personally for what we were going to face next.

We were quiet even as we pulled into the driveway and even as he opened my door once we reached the main house. As we approached the steps of the porch Jacob pulled touched my elbow for a moment before I could enter the front door. He held both my hands between us and took a breath before he whispered,

"We're going to have to talk to your parents." It was the first thing I'd heard him say in the last twenty-four hours. I sighed as well; not needing him to expound on the statement.

"I know." I breathed again slowly. He ran his thumbs over the tops of my knuckles. His touch was perfect and gentle and astoundingly comforting. "Would you mind if I talked to them first?" I asked bravely. I wasn't sure if _I_ minded really.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…I am their only daughter. Plus, I think it will take some of the heat off you if you're not sitting there," I joked. I would have gladly allowed him to take the heat off of me, but I felt I owed my parents this conversation.

"I can do that...doesn't mean your father won't have a few words for me."

"Or my mother, for that matter."

Jacob tugged on my hands to pull me into an embrace, but we were startled when the front door quickly opened with Rosalie standing the doorway.

"We heard you pull in." she explained coldly. She and Jake had never "officially" buried the hatchet and I don't think they wanted to. They were much happier having mutual approval to antagonize each other. Rosalie opened the storm door and authoritatively stepped onto the porch.

"Did it ever go through your light head we might be having a private conversation here?" Jacob growled.

"God, just when we finally got that smell out of the house," she retaliated.

I rolled my eyes at both of them and opened my arms to my aunt to gladly hug her.

"I missed you Rose," I said into her shoulder.

She released me, took my hand, and began pulling me through the front door – anxious for conversation. I turned back towards Jacob when I noticed him lag behind.

"You coming?"

"No, I…uh…think I'll go see Billy."

"Are you sure Jacob? Some of us would like to see you," Rosalie said, attempting to be a decent hostess.

"No, that's okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning Ness."

I nodded at Jacob's sad smile, the one he had every time we parted ways, and was pulled fully into the foyer of the house. Everyone was there to greet me and I went from person to person receiving hugs and greetings. Before I could blink I found myself in the living room being barraged by questions of my trip. They were well informed already.

"Tani told us what happened. Is Alina doing alright?" my mother asked me. Tani was the motherly type so it didn't surprise me she would call my mother to inform her of the situation.

"She's doing beautifully. She's taken to being a vampire perfectly."

"How's she handling the newborn stage?" Jasper asked, it being one of her favorite subjects.

"Hers is very different. She can thank her Gypsy lineage for that. Her thirst is not demanding and her new powers are already growing."

"For being natural enemies Gypsies certainly have no problem adapting to the lifestyle," Emmett joked.

"I'm beginning to believe they were never meant to be enemies, the politics just ended up that way. It's more like they are natural conduits for supernatural activity; which can mean different things. Maybe they're meant to help protect humans or vampires, or whoever needs it. That is why Alina appears as she does, with green eyes and human-like movement. She'll always be able to help humans, yet she's strong enough to fight along with vampires."

"Was her family upset?" Esme asked with concern. She was the motherly type as well and family was her primary concern.

"Yes and no, they were kind-of expecting that it might happen someday. Alina was simply unwilling to let a vampire die to guarantee her immortality. The universe had something else in mind for her. We'll have to go back in a few months for the wedding."

"Wedding?" Alice immediately chimed.

"Yeah, she and Rye got engaged."

"Oh, how exciting!"

"It'll be small. They won't be requiring your services Alice."

"I can do small."

"Yeah, that's what you said about my wedding," my mother retorted. I'd seen the pictures. There was nothing small about that wedding. Alice pouted.

Later on in the evening when I'd satisfied every question and my family had tired of my stories, they began to dissipate until it was just my parents and I in the living room. I was growing tired, but if I didn't get this conversation out of the way now, I might never do it. My parents were sitting next to one another while I sat in an adjacent armchair. I started off slowly and confidently, but my words rattled into incoherency after only a few phrases.

"Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you about something. You probably have picked up on it already, but I think I need to be honest with you. Plus, I don't really know what the answer will be and I need some insight. I've been driving myself crazy about this, but I haven't exactly gotten anywhere…"

"Nessie, I have no idea what you're talking about," my father said over my ramblings. This wasn't going to be easy to get through.

"Sorry, I'm nervous." I paused for a second when something he said finally registered in my brain. "Wait, how could you have no idea?" I would have thought this topic would have been stressing them out for years.

My father looked to my mother for a moment before speaking. She nodded to him giving him some confidence.

"There's something I should be honest with you about. Renesmee, the truth is I haven't been listening for quite a while."

"How is that possible?" I said without any type of inflection in my voice.

"Your mother has been protecting you from my ability; well, not_ protecting_, just inhibiting me."

"Since when?"

"Since you power expanded when you confronted the Volturi."

"So…you haven't heard anything at all for the past two and a half years?"

"Not quite, I can still hear the thoughts you share with other people. But I haven't heard anything otherwise."

I was shocked by this, genuinely shocked. You could have knocked me over with a feather. It was so backwards from how I had been raised. There were plenty of times I wanted my father out of my head, many times I'd even run away to escape it. I never imagined he would voluntarily take himself out.

"Why the sudden concern with my privacy?"

"Your head Renesmee…is not the easiest thing to navigate. Your thoughts are so different from others, even other vampires. You don't have one thought at a time you have hundreds, thousands of thoughts. It's a like a painting with layers and layers of colors which seamlessly blend into different forms of thought. In the end they all come together into one complete picture. It's fascinating, yet strenuous for me to experience. And this coming from someone who is used to hearing a dozen thoughts at the same time."

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. My thoughts were too much for him to handle? He was over a hundred years old; you'd think he'd be prepared for such a thing.

"It's that lack of barriers thing."

"I don't know how you handle it."

"It is difficult at times. I can't _not_ think about the things that worry me or the things I'm afraid of. They're just always there. Yet when it happened, when my power changed, it was like my mind opened up, it was like coming up for air. Finally everything made sense. I just felt…whole."

"I'm glad you can at least choose whose thoughts you see."

"Yes, well, it's usually things people don't want me to see so it's not all that pleasant."After all the years of trying to have a thought to myself, it had happened and I couldn't believe my reaction. He was proud of my ability that much I knew, but it was as if I was really good at playing piano but he never came to see a recital. I found myself nearly disappointed he hadn't seen or heard a thing in years. "Is it really so awful to hear my thoughts?"

"Perhaps I've been a little dramatic. I do miss it, very much."

"It drives him a little crazy as well. Doesn't hear his wife or his daughter," my mother joked as she took my father's hand.

"Well, you've hidden it quite well. I had no idea."

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" my father asked.

Oh god…_that_.

"Oh…right…it's about me and Jacob. Well, no…it's just about me. You may already know the answer, but I haven't figured it out yet. Is it possible for me to get pregnant?"After all the deliberating I finally got the words out. My parents looked awkwardly at one another. It was just as if I were five-years-old and asked them where babies come from. I filled the silent air. "Has Carlisle done anything?"

"No, he hasn't. We didn't want him to, not until you were prepared to find out the answer," my father answered quickly. I couldn't decide if I was disappointed or elated by this news.

"So, no one actually knows."

"No. I could talk to Carlisle."

"I would appreciate that," I said automatically. I didn't want to have this conversation more than once. My mother then filled the air which had once again grown silent.

"Sweetheart, why are you asking about this now? Have you and Jacob?"

"Not yet. We've been thinking about it for a while now. We need to be certain of the consequences."

"I'm glad to hear you say that. Do you want children?"

"I don't know…" It was my instantaneous and half-true response. "I never got a good chance to think about it. Jacob wants kids."

"Jacob wants what you want."

"Yeah, I know…that's really getting annoying." Both my parents laughed and I couldn't help smiling with them. "It's hard to decide when you don't know for sure if it can happen."

My mother nodded. "Believe me, that is something you will want to know ahead of time."

"Uh…yeah," my father agreed as he thought back to the month when my mother carried me; it became a personal hell for him. It was one of the secrets I had seen when I demonstrated my ability to him. If my mother knew what he felt it might kill her. Thankfully, it was all in the past now.

"Promise not to attack Jacob or anything. He's been perfect about the whole situation."

"I make no guarantees." He grinned.

I was extremely happy with how things were going. It wasn't half as awkward as I had anticipated. However, I was about to make it so.

"So, is that it? You're actually not going to tell me to wait till I'm married?"

My parents looked at each other once again. My mother spoke first. "Well, to be honest Renesmee, I would consider myself a hypocrite to tell you must do that."

"Wait, I thought you two…"

"We did wait until we were married, but that was all your father's doing." If my father could have blushed I'm sure he would have. "Your childhood, your connection to Jacob, it's all entirely different, entirely new. There's no convention that could hold you, no tradition more important than what you feel. I would advise you to wait, because marriage is meant to be a special time for a couple to designate when they're ready to start a life together. And sex may very well be and should be a part of that life. How can you say you are ready for a portion of that life, when you are not ready for all of it?"

My jaw was slightly dropped when my mother finished. I couldn't think of a way to respond. My father was staring at the floor and covering a portion of his face with his hand.

"Dad?"

He lifted his head up and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to tell you this Nessie, but I…uh…can't help but have natural fatherly reaction to this situation. I'd rather you didn't have sex until you're thirty, or until I'm dead."

"Well, damn it Dad, neither of those things is ever going to happen."

"Yeah, I know."

My mother and I laughed and the tension was abruptly released from the room. I never thought this conversation would end with everyone smiling.


	19. My Lips are Sealed

**Chapter XIX: My Lips are Sealed  
**

My eyes were not happy to be adjusting against the light. My brain kept asking me, "Why are you awake?" Why w_as_ I awake? Oh…there had been a noise – a noise which had woken me from a very deep and comfortable slumber. There was a knocking against my window. I slowly pulled myself out of bed and knew immediately who the culprit disturbing my sleep was. I opened the window quickly and as irately as I could.

"Jacob? What are you doing?"

"Morning Ness, I wanted to show you something." He sounded way too chipper for my sleep-deprived self to handle.

"What time is it?"

"Just after sunrise."

"Sunrise? Are you out of your mind?"

"It's good to get up early after a cross-continent flight. You don't want to the jetlag to knock you out too long."

"Yes I do…that was kind-of the idea."

"Come on Ness, it's an important something.  
"What is it?"

"Can't you let it be a surprise?"

"Not at sunrise I can't."

"Please, Ness," he begged.

"Fine…" I muttered. Even at dawn I couldn't resist the begging.

Every muscle in my body was begging me for more sleep and how I wanted to comply. Somehow, I continued to order my legs to move forward, following Jacob without much interest in where we were going. We walked for a long time and I found myself getting more and more annoyed with the stupid grin on Jacob's face. "Where are we going?" I demanded.

"Remind me not to wake you up in the morning."

"At least not when my sleeping schedule is desperately out of whack. Are you going to tell me what is going on?"

"Soon, we're almost there." I sighed loudly. I didn't recognize where we were. Trees and rock formations were completely unfamiliar. We weren't on my family's land. I didn't think we were on the reservation either. I wasn't even sure if we were technically in the country anymore. Finally, after I groaned internally a few more times the trees began to thin out and we came upon a clearing where a small and empty house sat. It had once been a log cabin, probably someone's hunting lodge. The shingles were falling off and several of the panes of glass were broken. A few animals were probably living it in now. It looked uninhabitable compared to the fine homes my family had built and gotten me accustomed too. I mean, I liked the woods, but at this moment all I could think about was how much I liked my bed.

"We're here." Jacob said happily.

I wasn't about to even attempt to feign some excitement. "This is it? You brought me to the house from _Misery_?"

"I thought maybe we could buy it."

"You want to buy a house? You want to buy _this_ house?"

"It needs to be fixed up; or maybe just knock it down and start over. The land is beautiful though."

I took a moment to give the surroundings a better look. Through my crabby-morning eyes I hadn't noticed how untouched the trees were and how perfectly clean the air smelled. I could hear a brook not very far off and mountains in the distance.

"You have money to buy a house?"

"I've been working. Plus, that year you were gone, I worked a lot."

"O…kay…" Some grown-up I was. I didn't even know my boyfriend's financial situation. I never would have imagined he had money for all this. As I stood there, still dazed by the immaculate forest, Jacob moved towards me and spoke a little quieter. Not that there was anyone out here who could hear us.

"I want to do this for us."

"Jake, I don't understand this. It's very sweet; don't get me wrong, but why? My family has several houses and we have everything we need."

Jacob paused and had his "rehearsed speech" face on. He must have been thinking about this all night. "When you said nothing would change when we got married, you were right. The way things were planned out, our lives wouldn't have changed. And things should be different once you're married, otherwise what would be the point? Marriage is supposed to mean something, right? It's supposed to mean you're ready to begin a life with someone else independent of your family."

God…Jacob had been possessed by my mother.

"And this house is how you want to prove our independence?"

"Well fine, look, it doesn't have to be_ this_ house. I just wanted to show you I have been thinking about this…a lot…and no matter what happens I want to have a future with you."

"I want that too." My response was instinctive and I didn't mind that.

"And…I know you said you weren't waiting until we were married to have sex, but I think maybe we should."

Somehow my brain became much more alert then.

"You want to wait?"

"Yes."

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"You were the one to push this originally, remember?"

"Yes, I know."

"Jake, you've been waiting a long time. A _long_ time. Longer than I've been waiting."

"Yeah…I know…"

"Well, let me ask you, can you _stand_ to wait much longer, because I don't think I can."

"Don't say stuff like that to me right now. I'll change my mind."

"Why do you even want to wait? And don't say it's to please my parents."

Jacob took one of my hands in his. I concentrated on not letting any of my thoughts slip by.

"It just feels right. Does it not feel that way to you?"

"I understand what you're saying, but, what if I never want to get married?"

"Well..."

"Really starting to hate the whole imprinting thing now, aren't you?"

"Nessie…" he groaned. He deserved a little irritation after waking me up so early.

"I'm kidding. This whole situation has been so much to try and rationalize. On the one hand we just want to be with each other, but we don't know what will happen, then we have to decide if we should wait till we're married, if we should be married, if we even could have a future if we were married. It's too many decisions at once."

"Then let's simplify it. This isn't a proposal, let there be no questions about that. I wouldn't dare propose to you unless I was sure of your answer." His arms snaked around my waist. It had been so long since we'd had any fun together…the private kind of fun.

"Really, is that so?"

"Yes, this is all just a picture for you to have in your mind. It's a promise that we can make a life for ourselves that will be worth getting married for."

"Damn Jake…that was pretty sneaky move." He pulled me even closer. My arms went around his neck.

"I'm smarter than you vampires give me credit."

"My parents would so mad if I moved out."

"Nah, they'd only be mad if I made you live here before I let Esme redesign it."

I leaned forward and kissed him – slowly and intuitively as it had become one of the most natural things in the world to me. His warm mouth worked gently with mine and he pulled away before I was ready for him to.

"Hey, there's something else I need. You have to promise me something. You have to stop trying to break us up. I don't think I can take it anymore." Truthfully, I didn't think I could take it anymore either. Which was something I never wanted to admit to Jacob fearing it would make me too vulnerable. However, he had just offered me everything. I could no longer love him in this selfish manner; it was the first step toward a new and adult part of our relationship.

"I promised," I vowed. I meant it. The best way to prove that was to kiss him again and not let him stop.


	20. I'm Tense and Nervous and I Can't Relax

**Chapter XX: I'm Tense and Nervous and I Can't Relax **

Jacob and I decided to take part in some voluntary denial for the next few days while Carlisle ran blood tests and DNA tests and whatever other tests he was running. I was never all that into science so I couldn't tell you what he was doing. However, Jacob and I pretended the whole thing wasn't going on and tried to enjoy some blissful days of ignorance. It wasn't all that easy of course. We could find things to distract ourselves with, but my father and Alice were having a harder time. They both had to concentrate on not hearing Carlisle's thoughts or seeing his future. They wanted me to be the first to know anything. It was a very sweet gesture although not guaranteed.

Jacob and I took a few trips to our secret house where we would hike to the picturesque babbling brook, to the tops of jaw-dropping cliffs, and through the unending forest. Then when we tired of running around and hunting, we would lay out in the open grasses near the dilapidated house (which most certainly would need to be knocked down) and soak up the sunlight until the sun finally settled behind the mountains. Every day in this place would be an adventure for the two of us; and every day the picture Jacob painted would become more and more appealing.

It probably didn't help that he had decided to cut me off – so to speak. Not that we'd done anything yet, but he'd certainly limited when it was going to happen. Only a few weeks ago I was the one cutting him off. It was very different being on the other side of things. At one time I was very happy with only making out and suddenly I had become hyper-sensitive to what we _weren't_ doing. Before I went to sleep I would try and think of ways to wear down his resolve. He was only human after all and I was half-vampire…I had to have some of that "dazzling" ability I'd heard my mother giggle about before.

Denial cannot last forever of course. We all knew this very well.

It was dusk. Jacob and I were sitting in the living room of the main house; I was reading; he was playing Wii with my dad and Emmett. Video games are a fantastic distraction. My mother, Esme, and Rosalie were in the room as well. Alice and Jasper had taken a few days to themselves to avoid revealing a future before I was ready for it. Emmett and Jacob were participating in virtual boxing and were considering making the match tangible when Jacob knocked Emmett out for the third time in a row when the patriarch of the family slowly stepped in. Carlisle had been so busy with figuring out my situation I hadn't seen him in days. He looked as cheerful and optimistic as ever.

"Hello everyone."

"Carlisle, we haven't seen you in days. How are you?" my mother asked.

"I'm doing quite well, thank you, Bella. Jacob, if you're finished knocking out Emmett I'd like to have a word with you and Renesmee."

"He just got lucky," I heard Emmett say under his breath. Jacob couldn't care less and took my hand as he pulled me off the couch and toward Carlisle's study. He'd been more anxious than I'd realized.

We sat down in a pair of chairs across from Carlisle's desk. Carlisle took the seat behind the desk and it felt like a real doctor-patient visit. Which I supposed is better than it feeling like a grandpa-granddaughter visit. Carlisle must have rehearsed this because he didn't look the least bit uneasy.

"Well, we all know what I asked you both here for. Your father asked me to do some research into your viability as parents." Carlisle paused to clear his throat. Well, well…I guess he really was nervous. "As you both know, your relationship is something I've never encountered. It has never been encountered as far as I am aware."

"We know all this Carlisle. Maybe it would be better if you just laid it all out. Pull off the proverbial band-aid." I looked to Jacob and he appeared to agree. We couldn't take anymore suspense, no matter what, we would be together.

Carlisle folded his hands on his desk and summoned every bit of sensitive professionalism he could.

"My research tells me it is not possible, Nessie. Your body has stopped changing. It is very similar in cell structure to your mother and your aunts."

So…that was it…all this worrying and my instincts had been correct the entire time. I expected Carlisle to offer some words of regret and reassurance; instead he uttered a very fateful word.

"However…"

_However?_ There's a however in all this?

"There is an issue. You are not venomous, unlike your mother and your aunts."

"What does that mean?"

"To be honest, I can't make a definite conclusion. I don't know what it is exactly which makes you exist, Nessie. I exist because of venom, just as your father and mother do now, but what makes you age 20 years in six and prevents your heart from tiring out I simply do not know. It is true that Jacob would be poisoned by venom, therefore the theory is if you were to conceive of a child, Jacob's DNA could bond with yours because you have no venom with which to destroy it."

"So what you're saying…" I gulped audibly. "Is we won't know until we try."

"Precisely."

"I don't think I like that answer."

"You are a miracle Renesmee, we've always known that. Your potential is unknown and immeasurable. You're as mysterious as the day your mother called me from that island to tell me she thought she might be pregnant. We thought that was impossible too."

I swallowed again and couldn't bear to look over at Jacob. My mind was swimming. It was possible? I could have children with Jacob? All those dreams he had of little black-haired, dark-skinned pups could really happen?

Once again, Carlisle uttered some disturbing words which pulled me from my mental swimming pool. "I conferred with Alina's father…"

"You did _what_?" I snapped back.

"He is a scientist as well and he had done some extensive research on the subject already," Carlisle explained succinctly.

"Oh god…I'm going to kill her," I vowed and oh, did I ever mean it. Alina's days of immortality were numbered. Carlisle ignored my violent threat.

"And we feel confident you could prevent pregnancy if Jacob were to take precaution."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

Geez, we sounded like a damn episode of _Grey's Anatomy_.

"Well, that's something. Isn't it Ness?" I heard Jacob say. I had forgotten he was in the room. What a thing to be discussing with your grandfather. I suddenly imagined my entire family standing against the door of the study with glasses against their ears. Not that they needed the glasses or to be anywhere near the door.

"I'm sorry I can't give you a more definite answer, Renesmee."

"I know, I know. I'm a miracle," I said sarcastically. What I wouldn't give to be a little less of a miracle. I finally looked over to Jacob. To his credit he wasn't smiling too big nor did he appear disappointed. The imprinting gave me exactly what I needed. Jacob looked pleasantly hopeful in a situation where I generally was not.

"Would you like me to discuss this with your parents?"

"Carlisle, let's not even pretend doctor/patient privilege exists around here."

"Very well. I'll give you two sometime alone." Carlisle briskly walked from the room and left the two of us in silence. Knowing pregnancy was possible I didn't think I'd be left alone in a room with Jacob ever again.

"So, what do you think?" he asked me casually.

"I think we're back to where we started."

"Not exactly, we know, well…we know…"

"We know we might have to go through this again. We might have to be disappointed all over again."

"Or not."

"God…this sucks…" I groaned while I slid down into my chair.

"Nessie, there is a practicality to imprinting. The person we imprint on is meant to give strength. You've given me something to live for and a life I never want to end."

"They're also supposed to make the pack stronger as well," I said quietly. I had meant it as a negative, given we still didn't know if we'd be able to contribute any future generations of wolves, Jacob saw it differently.

"Well, maybe that's it then."

"What?"

"Maybe we should have been putting more faith into the stories then we have been."

"You mean, since you imprinted on me it means we going to be able to extend the line. Despite the fact that I'm a vampire?"

"Yes," Jacob said clearly.

"You couldn't have pointed this out a month ago?"

"Oh, Ness…" He scooped me up from my seat in one quick move and wrapped his arms desperately around me. He must have been aching to do so since Carlisle had spoken the word "however." Only Jacob would respond to my sarcasm with romantic gestures.


	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

Three months later…

No secret in the Cullen household stays secret for long. That is the motto by which all of us live by.

In this case, the secret was the tiny house and breathtaking land Jacob had thought long and hard about buying for the two of us. The fault was Jacob's though, not mine. He had been reminiscing about an afternoon we spent there at a moment when my father was too close. I wasn't the least bit surprised by my father's less than thrilled reaction. Marriage was one thing, moving out was another. My parents were still recovering from the last time I'd left home for an extended period of time. Back then I had been running away and the pain from that experience was being carried over into this one.

We were also barraged daily from Alice and Esme on all the wonderful improvements to be made on the house. Most of which included knocking it down and a multi-million dollar budget. Jacob wouldn't hear of it though. He wanted to pay for it all himself. How he would get a loan I had no idea, but he was determined.

All of this arguing was pointless though because Jacob and I weren't even engaged and Jacob hadn't hinted at it in weeks. I was beginning to think he'd given up.

Currently, we were in my bedroom. I was sitting at the computer and Jacob was sitting on my bed going through a car magazine. I had finally learned what work he had been doing for years now. He was working as a mechanic, duh.

"I got an invitation to Rye and Alina's wedding today. She wants me to be in the wedding party. Just me and her sister."

"That's nice," Jacob said half-listening. Weddings used to be his topic of choice.

"Rye wants you to be his best man."

"What? Are you serious?" He put down his magazine when he heard that bit of news. I turned around in my chair and leaned over the backrest.

"Come on, it'll be fun. When will we ever have another opportunity to be in wedding together?"

"Best man to a vampire. Sam and Leah will never let me hear the end of it. When did you become so interested in weddings, anyway?"

"I don't know…Alina is my best friend, so I'm very interested in seeing her big day."

Jacob huffed and returned to his magazine. I got up from my chair and sat down at the end of the bed. I gently let my fingers run across his shin and over his knee. I had been experimenting lately in the whole dazzling thing I'd heard so much about.

"Also…I turned ten recently, I've become more…receptive to the idea." Jacob was more interested in what I was saying than what my hands were doing, unfortunately.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"What do you think I'm saying?"

"Uh-huh…no way," he said abruptly and he closed his magazine and folded up his legs so I could no longer touch him. I wasn't expecting that kind of a reaction.

"What?"

"You are not about to trick me into proposing to you."

Is that what I was doing? No, I was really trying to trick him into something else, but Jacob had put up a marriage wall made of iron in between.

"Jake, you're being absurd. How could I trick you into proposing to me?"

"For months you didn't believe in marriage as an institution, now you're 'receptive to the idea'?"

"That's what happens when your friends get married. It's hard not to imagine the same thing happening to yourself."

"Renesmee Cullen I know when you're lying. You're just interested in the perks."

Why deny it?

"And you're not?"

"You need to stop saying those things to me."

"I can't believe you. I tell you I don't want to wait and you keep insisting we do! What happened to the whole, do what the imprintee needs thing?"

"This isn't a need, this is a want."

"Carlisle said we'd be fine if we're careful about it."

"Nope," Jacob said opening his magazine with a flick of his wrists.

"Jacob Black!"

"What?"

"Why won't you propose to me?"

"Because I'm not ready."

"What?"

Jacob scooted towards me and took one of my hands. He spoke a little softer in a very persuasive tone that didn't bode well for my resolve.

"I said I wanted to have a life with you independent of your family, and right now I don't have the means to provide a life for us."

"So that's the reason? You don't have enough money to build us a house?"

"Yes."

"That's the only reason?"

"Yes."

"You know, I have money," I began slowly.

"I'm not taking your parent's money." Jacob let go of my hand, but I grabbed it before he could scoot back.

"Not my parent's, my money. Granted, I haven't worked for it, but I've been given trust funds, things like that. Things I'd be glad to share with you."

"You are as bad as your mother."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nevermind."

"Jake, I don't want to wait. I know you don't want to wait."

"Are you prepared for an Alice affair?" There was something which could instantly break my resolve.

"Hmmm…_elopement_ is a beautiful word isn't it?" He was too close for his own good. I leaned in quickly and kissed him, grabbing onto the fabric of his tshirt when he tried to pull away. If this didn't dazzle him, then damn it, nothing would. And happily, it was working. I heard his magazine fall to the floor and felt his hands pressing against the small of my back. I stood up as I kissed him and used the leverage to force him to lie down as I tumbled on top of him. He should have been strong enough to hold me off, but evidently he didn't want to. Our breathing increased readily, but I didn't want to stop and take a breath. I didn't want to hear him say no.

The warmth of his mouth was intoxicating and less than gentle. The words I had spoken had to have been fueling his behavior. Sensing my need for oxygen he pushed me away ever so slightly and spoke before I could.

"Ness, are you really ready? Ready to leave home, be separated from your parents? You're only ten, and we've got a lot of years ahead of us."

I stared at the collar of his shirt and glided my fingers across it. One of his hands gently touched my face and pushed the hair which had fallen forward behind my ears. I'd left home before and survived it; but that was at a rebellious time in my life when I needed to prove independence. I didn't need to prove it anymore, I needed to want it. I loved Jacob whole-heartedly and part of me wanted to be a wife, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to be done being only a daughter.

Then there was that whole speech from my mother…which was currently repeating itself within my mind. "How can you say you are ready for a portion of that life, when you are not ready for all of it?" Jacob wanted the whole thing…the house, the kids, the mini-vans…well, not the mini-vans. He deserved all of it. At the moment all I wanted was…well…him.

"Maybe not…" I whispered. Talk about a mood killer.

"I figured. I never thought my strategy would work so well."

"What strategy?"

"Well, I've been bringing up marriage on a regular basis for the past year or so and haven't been able to get you to say a word on the matter. Now, I stop talking about it for three months and you're practically mauling me."

"Oh, like you weren't enjoying it."

"Never said that," he kissed me lightly in a manner very unlike the moments before. "I'll wait for you, don't worry."

"This really is unfair to you."

"Believe me, that is not how I would describe it. Now, if we could get back to what we were doing." I rolled my eyes as he kissed me. Once I got this whole dazzling thing under control, we'd see where he stood on the matter.

* * *

End of Book III

* * *

A/N: A little irony in writing this story. I disliked the ending of Breaking Dawn generally because it's so anti-climactic and fairly unresolved. I remember reading in an interview with Stephenie Meyer she imagined it to be like a courtroom drama as opposed to a fight scene. And I remember thinking, why would anyone want to read about a courtroom drama in a vampire story? And there I go, writing a stupid courtroom drama. Hope you all enjoyed it regardless.

Thanks for reading and especially for reviewing! Please feel free to leave a comment. I appreciate all questions, comments, compliments, and criticisms!

I encourage you to read the concluding story of the Damn Imprinting series. Things take a turn after this one…

Thanks again for reading!


	22. Sequel: Mess

The sequel to _Psycho_ entitled _Mess_, has been completed with all chapters posted.

Here's the summary: Nessie has been fighting for ten years to be the architect of her own life. Now, she will finally experience the consequences of those decisions.

Thanks for reading!


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